The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: PopTodd on May 04, 2016, 02:49:55 PM
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This one is a bit particular in that, even though it's a pop song, it's not the typical A-B-A-B structure. I wanted to do something more linear here and am very happy with the way that it turned out.
I had tried to do something like this on an earlier album, but with not nearly as successful a final result. The earlier one came off more as something with a standard pop structure, but with an abrupt and extended bridge section.
This one I think that I nailed... it's more:
A-A-B-C-D
https://hoponpop.bandcamp.com/track/tortured-artist
But it's not a "pocket symphony" or anything like that, as I kept it all in the same key throughout and the differences between sections are not all that abrupt. I think that it flows and, for that, I am proud.
WARNING: There is some language.
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Hey man,
Good on you for challenging yourself to a different structure.Doing stuff like that is always fun.Well this is a cool song for sure.Reminds me of "Weezer" who I love.The first min is a bit too repetitive for me but everything from 1.10 is freakin awesome.Nice work man and Goodluck with it.
Leo ;D
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What LostBoy said, mostly. The first verse--at first I was thinking it was too repetitious, but then I started paying more attention to how you were illustrating all the different resolutions for the final chord of the line. I liked that.
This sounds to me like something one might hear on the radio, tv, whatever.
Vicki
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Cool! Thanks for checking it out!
I know what you mean about the repetition, but that is why I build the arrangement the way that I do... adding instruments and changing parts here and there as it goes along before the change.
Guess it wasn't enough?
But really appreciate you listening and commenting!
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I like it.
Especially the way you move from one segment to another.
Great Bass guitar and complements the guitars very well.
Lyrics are excellent.
Reminds me of Barenaked Ladies.
Well done
Sandeep
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You are the first person to comment on the bass playing, but I appreciate that because I'm proud of my bass on there.
Thanks, Sandeep!
:D
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Cool track Pops.
Kinda like early Green Day in places too. I think the repetition strung out over the first minute or so would work well in a live situation where folk are listening to the dynamic to know when to begin the boogie moves! Sitting in a chair with the big old critical heid on it maybe outstays it's welcome for some. Personally,I don't mind it actually,because I sense the build up coming.
Posilutely boogie-tastic.
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i think this is just great :)
i don't much care about standard structure for songs - although i understand that that's what many people expect and there are plenty of times and genres where it may be absolutely necessary
when i like a song as much as i like this...it pleases me that it doesn't need to conform
it's excellent as it is :)
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Thanks!
Oh, and it could stand to be said that my wife thinks that the whole "shit hits the fan" line is gross.
(http://shepfamilychiro.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/giggle.jpg)