[benjo]

 hey guys this was a collaboration I did with a guy called pete murphy
 it's about a break up, we all know what that's like right
 hope you like it

                                   thank you for any feed back and advice


                    
                       https://soundcloud.com/tony-mcglinchey/you-keep-saying-its-over


  

    YOU KEEP SAYING IT'S OVER
      ------ = = ------ = = ------  


 you keep saying its over
 but can't look in my eyes
 you don't want to hurt me
 don't want to see me cry

 you keep saying it's over
 but you won't walk away
 just look to the ground
 when I ask you to stay

 if you're happier there
 I accept that we're done
 it just didn't work out
 sorry you're not the one

 but I'll never forget you
 I'll say hello when we pass
 till the day that you realise
 that you left me to fast

 you keep saying it's over
 but you won't walk away
 just look to the ground
 when I ask you to stay

 are those tears in your eyes
 don't pretend I'll be missed
 some one is waiting for you
 so this is our last kiss

 you keep saying it's over
 then touching my face
 why tell me you're sorry
 and you just need the space

 you keep saying it's over
 but you won't walk away
 just look to the ground
 when I ask you to stay




 © copyright house all rights reserved

 
 

[Paulski]

Nicely done guys.
I like how it sticks to the theme - esp liked the line " just look to the ground" - says so much, without saying much if you get my drift. Those major 7th chords give it a nice warm feel. Vocals are nice, melody is memorable. Not sure I liked two key changes, and wanted to hear some orchestration , maybe strings or organ to help it build at the end, and there were a few missed opportunities for harmonies, but that's just me nit-pickin'.
I liked this song!
Paul

[Jamie]

Hi guys, a nicely crafted song and performance! Love the backing vocals. Nice warm maj7 chords to create that melancholy feel. Also liked the modulation that kept it ticking over.not sure if it was my speakers but the bass line didn't sound strong or very adventurous. Really good song though. Liked it.
Nice one
Cheers
Jamie

[dhipita]

Oh I love this. You should really try and become professional. 

[montydog]

Lovely arrangement and instrumentation - subtle, warm and supportive. Vocals great also if just slightly flat in places. On top of that, it's a nice, solid melody - memorable and pretty.

Lyrically it's all there - nothing out of place and everything sounding natural, unforced and rhyming perfectly. If I have a criticism it's that it has been said before in that very same way in many, many other songs. There is nothing which grabs my attention lyrically in terms of a striking image or turn of phrase. Having said that, it is certainly no barrier to success - I can see this as being a commercial song with a broad appeal.

M

[Gwyneth Rose]

  Wow!! This is awesome!! Really liked it. Well done guys. Fantastic voice , great melody
and I the lyric is lovely.  Bravo!!

Cheers
Gwyneth

[digger72]

Hi Benjo,

A little bit too soft rock for my personal tastes (Chicago and the ilk), but, it's well executed. Nice opening, brings you right in to the song from the off.
The vocal on the key change seemed a little off - but, it's a big old vocal performance - sounds demanding.
That aside, I think it's a good blast at the type of song you were aiming for.

Cheers,

Digger

[crystalsuzy]

Nice one guys love the la la la's in the intro and when they occur again in the song...it's my

favourite bit and gives the song a real lift beautiful harmonies...

nice job on the lyrics Tony...they flow along very nicely, as does the melody, which is very sweet

beautiful vocals, but I would like to have heard more of those beautiful harmonies in the

chorus kudos guys

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Extremely good example of the genre with a memorable hook in the title. Good vocal and well produced too.
Good but still left me wanting a bit more somehow. Maybe I'm just hard to please.

[TheButcher]

very nice straight forward pop tune.

To me, it needed somr variations in the vereses' singing melodie - but, on the other hand, i guess it s meant to be like that; straight forward and catchy.

Works very well.

[ToastedAndButter]

wow this is great! Those la la harmonies are so smooooooth! I feel like the bass is maybe a just a touch too strong though? That key change was nice it felt new but so familiar! Id maybe stick with the one key change though and then shorten up the end a little bit just to be certain the listener stays tuned in but thats just me thinking..

You have a great voice and a great song here! Im gonna follow you so I get to hear some more great tunes from you in the future!

[benjo]

 HEY GUYS WOW LOVELY RESPONSE TO THIS SONG

 some fantastic feed back and great comments

 PAULSKI, JAMIE, DHIPITA, MONTYDOG, GWYNETH ROSE, DIGGER72, CRYSTALSUZY,

 CRAMMER1930, THEBUTCHER, TOASTANDBUTTER...

    really made up with all your feed back thanks guys

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Not really feedback...well, I suppose it is, of a sort.

I was singing away to myself today as normal without thinking about much then I stopped and said to myself "Now what was that I was singing?"

It was the title/hookline of this song.

Hooked me already!

[ShinyThang]

I know I've said this before but ... There are a number of writers on this forum that just make me want to try harder and you are definitely one of them Benjo.

I popped over to the shop just after taking a first listen and I was humming it the whole time. This is a lovely piece of writing. Wonderful opening. Straight into a la la section with full backing, no messing Bham!

Lyric is very focused which is always attractive to me. Quite poignant in places ... I love those lines 'You keep saying it's over, but you won't walk away'

It really is a lovely, lovely song and has made me sorry to have neglected the forum for so long.

 

[benjo]

 WOW,


 CRAMMER1930,       what a really nice thing to say that just made my day
                              and if it caught you unaware job done for me thank you so much
                              lovely feed back


 SHINYTHANG,         mate coming from you those words make me feel humbled
                              when I can get that from people with your knowledge and talent
                              I'm making progress can't thank you enough glad you enjoyed it


                                                             thanks guys