[ScottLevi]

Ok, back again. I found it difficult to find any time at all so have been slacking on feedback a little, so please forgive me and I'll try catching up!

Now I'm not too sure what to think with this one. I get a feeling that overall as a song it may have regressed from my last submission, but is one of those 'one step back' situations where I will learn from the pitfalls of this submission given the new elements I'm trying out.

The main 'new' thing in this song is the electric guitar - which has been mentioned as a possible addition in multiple feedbacks I've had - so let me know how this goes down. Apart from that I'm still doing the rhythm on my nylon and have tried to add some 'sparkle' with the keyboard.

Bit of a stroppy song - my eczema was flaring up and as with most things that pi** me off, a song was born. I tried to use hyperbole to make it more of a fun concept rather than sulk, but not sure how that came off?

https://soundcloud.com/namelessmc/tied-and-sick

(Version updated from feedback here, but still a bit rough think this is as far as I can take i though)

Lyrics:
Chorus
I'm tired and sick of bleeding
On every bed I sleep
I'm tired and sick of worrying
about everyone I meet
I'm tired and sick of ruining
Every sofa which I sit
They say "Nameless that looks painful"
Yeah - just a bit

Verse 1
'Cos the pain is uncomfortable
The doctors don't do f*ck all
Binoculars don't help at all
Agitated and looking sore

Pre-Chorus
How'm I suppoed to have self-respect
When I walking 'round with my health-unchecked
Nobody thinks it's a healthy-red
When I'm wearing short sand they see-my-legs

Chorus

Verse 2
Leave bits of myself, whenever I roam
You'll be vacc'ing for week if I visit your home,
Because I'm peeling, I'm peeling, right down to the bone
Skelatized, and completely alone

Pre-Chorus 2
How'm I supposed to find-a-body
When I'm walking 'round looking awful-sorry
I know you don't want to hear-this-sory
But listen now 'cos I'm in-a-hurry

Chorus

Verse 3
I ent got much time,
I can feel it in the air,
Next time you come to see me,
No one's there....

Chorus

[boolio]

Hey Scott,

Talk about unmistakable...Really glad you're sticking to your guns musically and adding the 'dissonant' electric adds another string to your bow. I also think this holds the interest at least as well as your previous work if not better. I have to say I can hear some kind of Cajun vibe in there too which is another welcome dimension.

As for the lyrics hell, they are as brave as they are funny! and no they are not stroppy but they do tell a story and deal with a subject that may not have been dealt with in such a way before.

Will be listening again

Phil

[Yodasdad]

Hi,

This confused the hell out of me as the title on soundcloud is TIED and sick. I hadn't read your lyrics at this point so I had trouble getting my head around it.

There is a decent song here, particularly the chorus part. The problem for me is that it still feels, in its infancy. There is a lot of dissonance both in the guitar and vocal parts and I'm not convinced that it's all intentional. If it is, it doesn't work the way it is for me.

I would persevere with this and try to work through the tuning/pitching issues because as I said I think there is a worthwhile idea here.

I've nothing against a little rawness to the sound but personally I would say this more of a rough sketch at the moment rather than a finished product.

Yodasdad

[Viva La Stereo]

I'm a fan of discordant music like this, so I may be biased here. There's a lot of positive-negativity in this (Is that even a thing?) and the humanity comes through in waves. That electric guitar stabbing around in the background may not be to everybodys taste, but it is to mine. This is a really enjoyable little piece of avant-garde music. I always find it uplifting when somebody follows their muse and doesn't care where it goes, but follows it with determination.

Thanks for sharing!

[PaulAds]

interesting piece with a good lyric and a jaunty chorus

might polish up nicely with a little bit of work...or could be left as it is for more of a statement

brave stuff 

[pompeyjazz]

Hi Scott,

This is certainly different. Took a couple of listens to appreciate it properly. I like the direction that you're coming from and you're pushing the boundaries somewhat so well done for that

John

[rightly]

this has got it's charms.
I like the lyrics and theme
vocals are a bit too crowded
I think it needs refining and deserves the extra attention

2nd guitar is nice.

keep going with it. Rightly

[tina m]

first of all i loved the rather crazy electric guitar ..that is a fab addition to your sound scott..definitely keep that!
the song  was a bit undisciplined particularly the verse  but I am a big fan of songs that dont respect metronomes & conventional styles ...it was just a shame the song wasnt easier to hear clearly bcos that made the first impression one of confusion & I had to concentrate to hear ..
but then I got it & the song totally sounded to me like you rushing about madly scratching yourself in frustration & anger... & that was clever bcos it brought the lyric to life

you poor thing with your eczema...i realy feel for you!
My youngest was born with it & it used to break my heart to see him as a baby always  red & blotchy ..we had to cover him from top to bottom in emollients & he had so much hydrocortisone he developed asthma...BUT when he got to puberty it all went ... i am  so grateful & so lucky

[Movin Flavour]

A song with lot of energy.

Great lyrics.

The haphazardness gives it a lot of charm

Found it a bit difficult to hear the lyrics.

Lots of potential here.

Sandeep

[ScottLevi]

Hi all,

Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment, is much appreaciated.

Boolio
Hey Phil, thanks for the positive comments again, loving the cajun vibe comment, between that and sci-fi film hommages seems I'm accidently acquiring a few new genres

And aha, guess the lyrics reflect my personality somewhat, always a bit light-hearted even when talking about something which I feel strongly about, glad they worked for you.

Yodasdad
Good shout on the title, I've just changed it can see why you were confused!

This wasn't my favourite work but thought it had some merit and areas for feedback to take on to the next, but I've grown to it somewhat and with the 'potential' feedbacks I think I'll give this some more time to clean it up and fix some of those rough issues.

Thanks for encouragement.

Viva La Sereo
Thanks for the positivity, some really encouraging feedback and it's much appreciated, hopefully I can maintain some of those elements mentioned on the rework and in future music, I very much like doing my own thing and glad it can hit the spot for others.

PaulAds
Thanks for listening and for the positivity, I'll definitely try polishing it up but still want to keep that rawness, so will have to see how it comes out

Pompeyjazs
Hey John, cheers for listening I'll keep messing around wherever my muse takes me hopefully that will continue to be unique.

Rightly
Thanks for listening, I do need to work on spacing out the vocals. Glad you like the extra guitar was tons of fun to do.

Tina
Great that you like the electric, obviously something you've mastered so nice to know I haven't tainted the instrument with poor quality! I'll definitely keep it up!

It's great to get positive comments on not respecting traditional styles or discipline, feels like a little bit of a cheat as it's mostly due to lack of theory but am just doing what feels right & real to me. I love your excuse for the confusion, wasn't intentional but I was feeling a bit frantic and frustrated whilst writing and recording, so maybe that just reflected how I felt.

Cheers for the concern and glad your youngest recovered well, seems generally the case that it goes over puberty but must be such a worry for parents, I pulled a bit of a 'benjamin button' in that respect as mine started around 13 and has got progressively worse.

Movin Flower
Hey Sandeep, thanks for the listen and feedback. I'm definitely going to revisit so hopefully can do justice to some of that potential.

Cheers all.

[MartynRich]

Can a listen be fun when it´s about something rubbish like eczema? There is a certain jauntiness to this song that I like, it may need tightening up a bit but the chorus is good and the electric guitar is fab. A bit of work on the production and it´ll sound great.