The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: crystalsuzy on December 02, 2019, 12:06:56 PM
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Hi guys, once again I've been A-wall due to RL drama, but I thought I'd throw this one before you all to get some fresh ears. I started working on it a while ago and just got bogged down with the mixing, so left it alone for a while and just came back to it recently. Thanks for taking a listen and any constructive comments are most welcome. ;)
https://soundcloud.com/crystalsuzy/nobody-gets-a-free-ride
Here I am on the road again, trying to find my way home
I guess I didn’t realize, just how far I’d roamed
I keep walking through the dark, trying to find the light
But no matter how hard I try, I just can’t get it right
No body said it would be easy
No body gets a free ride
How many times have I walked this road, barefoot and all alone?
How long must I carrying this load, reaping the seeds I’ve sown?
How many signs on this journey, will I choose to ignore?
It all seems kind of familiar, have I been here before?
No body said it would be easy
No body gets a free ride
I am watching myself as I’m sleeping…..
When will a wake….
I see myself stumble along, watching my life, go buy
I see where I, I have gone wrong, when love, was denied
I've been a warrior; and I've been a priest; a beggar and a thief?
How many times will I go around, before I wake and see
That life doesn’t have to be a struggle, with suffering and pain
If I awaken to my true self, will I drop these heavy chains?
No body said it would be easy
No body gets a free ride
No body said it would be easy
No body gets a free ride
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Hi @crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) We've missed you for sure. Hope all is ok in RL. Love the harmony work in this one and that lovely bouncy piano. The M8 breaks out into some of your usual unconventional stuff which is great. Lovely upbeat song in terms of musical composition although lyrically maybe not so. A fabulous listen
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Hi suzy, hope you are well. The instrumentation is wonderful. I think at times the vocals are a little too prominent. They could sit much better in the mix. However, this song gtows and it is evident that there is real quality as it reaches it's conclusion.
Paul
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I listened to this the other day
I really like it. a very sweet production, delightful voice with a hard resonant message.
You can be proud of this one. :)
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This is up to your usual very original standards, really like the sound of this..only one crit..the vocal could do with a bit of automation....
otherwise...super :) 8)
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I can hear world-weariness in the lyrics which seems an interesting contrast to the swinging effervescence of the music, particularly in the sparkly piano playing. The rich vocal harmonies have come together very well. It must have taken some effort to mix and balance everything. I suppose a single voice might have achieved a more intimate effect with the listener. However, I’m glad you went with the choir-like harmonies. It seems to lend the song a kind of collective wisdom to be shared with the audience as something we can all relate to. Wonderful song.
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Nobody Get A Free Ride
Now you tell me! I've been looking for a free ride my whole life!
Glad no-one else got one either :D
I liked this - Elton did a good job on the keys and it moves along nicely.
There are a few pitchy vocal spots and the mix could be tweaked but somehow that just makes it more charming.
Oh yeah and welcome back. The place's not the same w/o you ;D
Paul
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Really liked this. The standouts are the tumbling piano (that's ace) and the vocal melodies / harmonies which to my ears had a fantastic late 60s / early 70s feel to them... a little bit Carol King. The percussion is well judged too - it ebbs and flows with the track very effectively. Also I liked the way the lyrics are quite bleak but that's offset by the perkier instrumentation... keeps it all 3-dimensional. One of my favourites of yours I think.
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Hi Suzy,
Hope you are well. RL is a burden at times; easy to get lost in as I unfortunately know all too well.
Anyway, this is really good - and rather instant; Catchy chorus just gets its hooks in you straight away.
Great groove throughout.
Your harmonies always work well and here they are at their best.
Lots going on as always, but it all just comes together.
The ending is a quirky delight.
Digger
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Hi @crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) We've missed you for sure. Hope all is ok in RL. Love the harmony work in this one and that lovely bouncy piano. The M8 breaks out into some of your usual unconventional stuff which is great. Lovely upbeat song in terms of musical composition although lyrically maybe not so. A fabulous listen
Thanks for the thumps up on the music and vocal harmonies. I guess that's what I was focusing on in the song and the lyrics just came out as is. Glad you liked it adn I missed you guys too
Hi suzy, hope you are well. The instrumentation is wonderful. I think at times the vocals are a little too prominent. They could sit much better in the mix. However, this song gtows and it is evident that there is real quality as it reaches it's conclusion.
Paul
Thanks Paul. I know know what you mean about the mix and I appreciate your comments regarding the vocals. I will try and get them sitting better.
I listened to this the other day
I really like it. a very sweet production, delightful voice with a hard resonant message.
You can be proud of this one. :)
Thanks so much Rightly for your kind comments. I'm glad you liked the message.
This is up to your usual very original standards, really like the sound of this..only one crit..the vocal could do with a bit of automation....
otherwise...super :) 8)
Thanks Kevin for your kind and encouraging support. I had to look up the concept of automation, as I don't think I've tried much of that in my songs. I will see if I can figure out what to do with this song. If you have any specific suggestions, please let me know.
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A more traditional structure here and none the worse for that.
As others have said the piano is a showstealer and so is the banjo (?).
The harmonies are part of your trademark though I could help thinking they’d have a bit more power if you left them out (or dialled them down a little) during verse 1 and then they help accentuate the chorus.
But a great song concept (I especially like hooks that can appear in everyday conversation) and catchy writing.
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A great listen. Lovely to hear from you again too.
I enjoyed the way it kept shifting gears around that excellent piano.
Super storytelling lyrics. Your vocals always seem to convey a sense of sweet confusion despite some real understanding of the world...I'm going to call it the "baffled genius" effect. I love it, anyway.
Top marks :-)
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Strong lyrics Suzie. And a lovely upbeat happy backing tracking. Always good to hear your tracks and listen to your sweet vocals.
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Hi Suzy, well you are back again on top form. There's some real skill in that piano playing and the vocal lines/harmonies are pretty damn unique, whimsical and delightful.
Great how you slow it all down, then move back up to speed again with such ease.
It's almost like a modern hymn this time in parts, totally captivating track! ;)
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I can hear world-weariness in the lyrics which seems an interesting contrast to the swinging effervescence of the music, particularly in the sparkly piano playing. The rich vocal harmonies have come together very well. It must have taken some effort to mix and balance everything. I suppose a single voice might have achieved a more intimate effect with the listener. However, I’m glad you went with the choir-like harmonies. It seems to lend the song a kind of collective wisdom to be shared with the audience as something we can all relate to. Wonderful song.
Thank you so much for your very kind comments. I actually tried starting the 1st verse with a single voice, but it just didn't sound as good. I really don't that good a solo voice. And you're right, I didn't want this to be just a personal song, although it's how I feel a lot of the time. I'm glad you liked the harmonies and yes, it was very difficult to mix and I'm not good at it, so I don't think it's right yet.
Nobody Get A Free Ride
Now you tell me! I've been looking for a free ride my whole life!
Glad no-one else got one either :D
I liked this - Elton did a good job on the keys and it moves along nicely.
There are a few pitchy vocal spots and the mix could be tweaked but somehow that just makes it more charming.
Oh yeah and welcome back. The place's not the same w/o you ;D
Paul
I'm sorry Paul, someone should have told you years ago, that nobody gets a free ride :) I knew there would probably be some pitchy spots, but do you think I can hear them? NO! so if you have a spare minute, could you point out to me on the track where they are? And how can the mix be improved? Thanks
Really liked this. The standouts are the tumbling piano (that's ace) and the vocal melodies / harmonies which to my ears had a fantastic late 60s / early 70s feel to them... a little bit Carol King. The percussion is well judged too - it ebbs and flows with the track very effectively. Also I liked the way the lyrics are quite bleak but that's offset by the perkier instrumentation... keeps it all 3-dimensional. One of my favourites of yours I think.
WOW< thanks PaulX...Carol King! and I loved the 60's-70's sound :) And thanks for the thumbs up on the drums...not my forte. I like the 3D effect.
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Hi Suzy. The song is not bad. Your voice needs a little bit of work. Maybe some exercises before singing. The piano is too fast while the song and lyrics give out a more mellow vibe.
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Hi Suzy,
This for me is your most accessible song to date. It’s a lot more straightforwards than some of your previous songs some of which which were so complex they went totally over my head. I can hear Primal Scream/Rolling Stones in here. The production is decent. I would consider beefing up a bit in the chorus towards the later stages. Perhaps introduce a heavier guitar sound. It has the potential to be an out and out rocker if you decided to follow that path. Would sound great live. Cheers Micky
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@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) - Hope you are well ...I don't know what a RL Drama is, I agree with @mickyplankton (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20769) ... you sure have some great ideas, and an enormous vocal range. I think your voice is strong enough to sit alone in the song, it's unusual to have the whole song so intricately woven with so many harmony lines.
It's very common to be self critical of one's own Solo Vocal abilities...there are a few things that can help, her'es a few.
Mute all the other Vocal lines, or keep just one in the mix while recording.
Have only 1 headphone on whiles recording
If your Audio Interface has a Mix control, turn it so your vocal line is high in the mix.
With harmonies, it might help to plan them a little, listen to a song that you really admire that is similar, one that you always sing the harmony to, maybe a Beatles song, and try and suss why you sing it, then apply it to your song.
Hope this helps Susan
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@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947)
Hi CS, hope you are well.Your usual mix of styles genres etc. The piano playing was really good and I particularly liked the little mandolin/bodhran breaks. Nice harmonies, although there are a few pitchy spots. Always enjoy listening to your stuff, its like a mini roller coaster ride.
Cheers
Jamie
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Hi Suzy,
Hope you are well. RL is a burden at times; easy to get lost in as I unfortunately know all too well.
Anyway, this is really good - and rather instant; Catchy chorus just gets its hooks in you straight away.
Great groove throughout.
Your harmonies always work well and here they are at their best.
Lots going on as always, but it all just comes together.
The ending is a quirky delight.
Digger
Thanks so much digger. I appreciate your supportive comments and I'm glad you liked the quirky mandolin ending. I was really trying to work on some different harmonies with this one and I know I didn't totally nail them, but thanks for the thumbs up.
I'm doing a little better in my RL. I hope you are as well.
A more traditional structure here and none the worse for that.
As others have said the piano is a showstealer and so is the banjo (?).
The harmonies are part of your trademark though I could help thinking they’d have a bit more power if you left them out (or dialled them down a little) during verse 1 and then they help accentuate the chorus.
But a great song concept (I especially like hooks that can appear in everyday conversation) and catchy writing.
Thanks so much Adam, and I know what you mean about coming straight in with full on harmonies. I did wrestle with that, but I just didn't feel I had a strong enough solo voice. I still might to back to this and give it another try, but I'm glad you liked the more traditional structure. BTW<it's a mandolin.
A great listen. Lovely to hear from you again too.
I enjoyed the way it kept shifting gears around that excellent piano.
Super storytelling lyrics. Your vocals always seem to convey a sense of sweet confusion despite some real understanding of the world...I'm going to call it the "baffled genius" effect. I love it, anyway.
Top marks :-)
"baffled genius" effect! I love it Paul! Thank you. I appreciate your very kind and insightful comments. I am confused a lot of the time, but I also have a spiritual understanding of how I think things work. But who knows anything for sure.
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Hi Suzy, well you are back again on top form. There's some real skill in that piano playing and the vocal lines/harmonies are pretty damn unique, whimsical and delightful.
Great how you slow it all down, then move back up to speed again with such ease.
It's almost like a modern hymn this time in parts, totally captivating track! ;)
Thanks for your kind comments MA. I can't take credit for it, but I love how how the piano came together, as well. thanks for the thumbs up on th harmonies. I know there are some off notes here and there, but that's what this track was all about...the harmonies. I didn't mean it to be hymn like but I know what you mean. A bit of s gospel vibe :)
Hi Suzy. The song is not bad. Your voice needs a little bit of work. Maybe some exercises before singing. The piano is too fast while the song and lyrics give out a more mellow vibe.
thanks for giving this a listen A73. I appreciate your honesty and I know my voice needs a lot of work, and some exercises before singing is a good idea. I don't have an ideal recording space, so I'm usually trying to sing quietly in my living room.
@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) - Hope you are well ...I don't know what a RL Drama is, I agree with @mickyplankton (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20769) ... you sure have some great ideas, and an enormous vocal range. I think your voice is strong enough to sit alone in the song, it's unusual to have the whole song so intricately woven with so many harmony lines.
It's very common to be self critical of one's own Solo Vocal abilities...there are a few things that can help, her'es a few.
Mute all the other Vocal lines, or keep just one in the mix while recording.
Have only 1 headphone on whiles recording
If your Audio Interface has a Mix control, turn it so your vocal line is high in the mix.
With harmonies, it might help to plan them a little, listen to a song that you really admire that is similar, one that you always sing the harmony to, maybe a Beatles song, and try and suss why you sing it, then apply it to your song.
Hope this helps Susan
thanks so much for your helpful advice Rick...much appreciated :) RL means real life ::) I usually don't plan anything much when creating a song, and I guess it shows sometimes, although in this song, I actually was trying to do the harmonies like I'd heard a female duo, do :) If that make sense. ::) I will try the one headphone idea 8)
@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947)
Hi CS, hope you are well.Your usual mix of styles genres etc. The piano playing was really good and I particularly liked the little mandolin/bodhran breaks. Nice harmonies, although there are a few pitchy spots. Always enjoy listening to your stuff, its like a mini roller coaster ride.
Cheers
Jamie
"a mini roller coaster ride" ;D LOL Jamie! and I thought this song was so traditional ::) I really tried to make it not so complicated :o I know there are some pitchy spots and it anyone would like to point a few out, I would be most appreciative. I'm glad you enjoy my stuff, and I yours :)
Hi Suzy,
This for me is your most accessible song to date. It’s a lot more straightforwards than some of your previous songs some of which which were so complex they went totally over my head. I can hear Primal Scream/Rolling Stones in here. The production is decent. I would consider beefing up a bit in the chorus towards the later stages. Perhaps introduce a heavier guitar sound. It has the potential to be an out and out rocker if you decided to follow that path. Would sound great live. Cheers Micky
thanks so Micky. I'm so glad this spoke to you more easily than some of my others :) I did add an electric guitar and bass in the 2nd to the last chorus, but maybe it didn't come out loud enough :P I'd love to do this live as a rocker, but I'd have to have at least 5 singers to do all the harmonies :)
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Hi,
Listened to this 3-4 times.
There are elements of this track that are good and others that, to my ear need work.
Firstly, I really like the piano part. It really holds the track together well and maintains the energy.
The song itself is fine but my ear gets distracted by al the doubles and harmonies coming in and out.
There are a number of tuning and timing issues with those extra vocals.
I think I’d prefer to hear a single main vocal with supporting harmonies rather than hearing them throughout.
There are some mixing issues with the track as well in terms of instrument balance, but simplifying the vocal track would be my first step.
Despite these points,It’s clear you have talent and strong songwriting skills, so good work.
Hope this helps.
Best wishes,
Paul.
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You’re quite the paradox Suzy; when I click on one of your songs, I know exactly what to expect and yet have no idea at the same time.
Can’t really comment on the mix as my ears are blocked with cold at the moment but I liked the dreamy stacked vocals. I thought maybe they could possibly be tightened up in terms of synchronising the timing of the lines occasionally, but still good.
Enjoyed the driving piano too.
Nice comeback track.
Yodasdad
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Hi Suzy,
This is far more commercial and mainstream than I have come to expect of you but lovely nevertheless. A particular highlight for me is the piano part which drives this along beautifully. Catchy chorus and, as others have said, a beautiful bridge. For me the somewhat unorthodox harmonies are one of your trademarks - I think it works fine within the context of your singing which is also not out of a text book. For me, this is all to the good - God help us if we all end up singing like Celine Dion (Impossible in my case but beyond the realms for you!).
I enjoyed this very much.
M
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Hi,
Listened to this 3-4 times.
There are elements of this track that are good and others that, to my ear need work.
Firstly, I really like the piano part. It really holds the track together well and maintains the energy.
The song itself is fine but my ear gets distracted by al the doubles and harmonies coming in and out.
There are a number of tuning and timing issues with those extra vocals.
I think I’d prefer to hear a single main vocal with supporting harmonies rather than hearing them throughout.
There are some mixing issues with the track as well in terms of instrument balance, but simplifying the vocal track would be my first step.
Despite these points,It’s clear you have talent and strong songwriting skills, so good work.
Hope this helps.
Best wishes,
Paul.
Thanks so much for taking the time to listen to my song so many times Paul. I really appreciate your detailed review and the points you are making. I guess this song was a bit of an experiment with the harmonies and I wanted to get that full "Gospel" sort of sound. I've tired to tighten up the harmonies a bit, but some of them are not suppose to be in the same timing. If you get a chance to give this another listen I'd like to know if it sounds any better pitch and mix wise. Thanks again
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@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) It would be my honour to have another couple of listens...I'll feed back here later.
Paul
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You’re quite the paradox Suzy; when I click on one of your songs, I know exactly what to expect and yet have no idea at the same time.
Can’t really comment on the mix as my ears are blocked with cold at the moment but I liked the dreamy stacked vocals. I thought maybe they could possibly be tightened up in terms of synchronising the timing of the lines occasionally, but still good.
Enjoyed the driving piano too.
Nice comeback track.
Yodasdad
Thanks so much for taking a listen, blocked ears and all Martin. Actually my songs probably sound better slightly muffled :) Some of the harmony lines are suppose to be off time to the melody, but I have tried tightening up them up a bit, but I don't know if I made it any better...maybe even worse...Lol!
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Hola @crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947)
I wish the bass had more presence to balance the sharp wave? For the rest it is a well built song and the voices sound very beautiful ... Although they could be improved in this part that is repeated about 1'55?
Congratulations!!
Mora
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Cute......Retro feel - I could listen to this all day.
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Hi Suzy,
This is far more commercial and mainstream than I have come to expect of you but lovely nevertheless. A particular highlight for me is the piano part which drives this along beautifully. Catchy chorus and, as others have said, a beautiful bridge. For me the somewhat unorthodox harmonies are one of your trademarks - I think it works fine within the context of your singing which is also not out of a text book. For me, this is all to the good - God help us if we all end up singing like Celine Dion (Impossible in my case but beyond the realms for you!).
I enjoyed this very much.
M
thanks for taking listen M. I always look forward to your comments and "unorthodox harmonies" is priceless. I think I'll write a song with that title :) I wouldn't mind if I could just sing a tiny little bit like Celine Dion. It would be interesting to have someone like her sing one of my songs :) It would totally change the feel.
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@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) It would be my honour to have another couple of listens...I'll feed back here later.
Paul
thanks Paul
Hola @crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947)
I wish the bass had more presence to balance the sharp wave? For the rest it is a well built song and the voices sound very beautiful ... Although they could be improved in this part that is repeated about 1'55?
Congratulations!!
Mora
thanks so much Mora. I guess I kept the bass on the low side cause I wasn't totally sure it was working, but I'll try increasing the volume and I'll have a listen to the vocals at the spot. I appreciate you pinpointing that specific spot.
Cute......Retro feel - I could listen to this all day.
Aw, thanks so much MJ