[Freddie]

Guys, Thought i would share this song with you. I had a slow melody in mind when writing. Feedback welcome!


The broken bough
the withered vine
no longer masks this heart of mine
the brush of love, it has swept away
the deep despair of yesterday

the swaying reeds
the glistening dew
bring back the joy of days with you
gives me a glow, that can warm my night
and lifts my soul like birds in flight

there was a time
back in days gone by
I thought my tears had all run dry
now tears run free when I take your hand
and I give to you my wedding band

[JonnyD]

Perhaps call it 'Wedding Band'? Only because it's the last thing said so it'll stick with the listener

Alternatively you could write some chorus and use a line from the chorus as the title?

Lyric wise its awesome, particularly the third verse

[Freddie]

Thanks Snowman! Much appreciated.

[PeeJay]

Hi Freddie,

Really good lines in this one.

I wondered if having a chorus might give it more focus.

The only line i had trouble with was the very last. 'Wedding band' didn't work for me so i'll have to disagree with the last caller. It has a touch of the 1950s about it. Although i know this harks back to times gone by. It is a 'well-weathered' phrase. IMHO anyway.

Phil.