nice lyrics, really fit the genre well,
the only thing i can see that might make it better could be the rhyming scheme.
there doesnt seem to be a strict scheme throughout the verses
You're in her
sights a
Unknowingly you're the
prey b
And now
tonight a
She'll have her
way b
Her lust is a
fire c
Heat so intense it will d
Light your
desire to c
Burn through the night e
She's a siren from the deep a
Knows your every weakness b
She's original sin c
Before it was cool d
She's a liar and cheat e
But this doesn't matter f
Cause tonight she is sweet e
Just for you
Kiss of an angel a
Inticing and dicing with b
This dirty ritual a
Dragging you down c
You're a slave to your lust d
Her little plaything e
Halo turns to dust d
The good girl is gone f
.. see the rhyming scheme is a bit off, but this is me assuming they are all verses so i'm probably wrong,
but if these are all verses i would probably alter them a little so as they all fit the same rhyming scheme
ignore me if you want, i know no more than you,
i think i'm about the same age, i'm 17
