[Ramshackles]

Hey,
A lot has been said about cliches; I cant comment on anything about hypocrisy of you saying you dont like cliches/then using them as I never seen where you said that! But, the lyrics are a little...cheesy rather than cliched, for me. I quite liked the overall story (although I dont think there was enough in it to carry 5 minutes). For me, some of the main offenders lyrically were:
'smile that would brighten each dawn'
'let’s drink to one hell of a time'
'We’re told love is fleeting, we all crave the style'
'But we all had one hell of a time'

Im not the best for that as I generally try to stray so far from cliche that I end up with very ambiguous and vague lyrics!!

It was a little too lengthy; 5 mins of the same of the same 8 bar sequence got a bit tiring!

I really liked when the bass and other guitar came in and gave it a bit of weight and that was nicely done. The acoustic guitar motif thing was quite nice and had a whiff of Fleet Foxes' 'Lorelai' (which itself has more than a whiff of Bob Dylans '4th time around') about it.


Production wise:
The guitar sound is cool; woody and a bit thick. But the vocal sounds a bit thin alongside it and so it is dominated by the guitar. The guitar seems very intimate and up close, whereas the vocal sounds a bit further away and in a different setting/room. The only time they sit ok together is the verse at around 4:55
The bass and 2nd guitar sit great alongside the main guitar. I would push back the percussion a bit more and make it sit deeper, as shakers and things always irritate me after a short while. But I know some people like stuff like that way forward and keeping the song ticking over...

[Songsmith]

Hiya James,
                 sorry mate, I just found this so so boring, it just went round & round to the extreme that I started to feel a bit embarrassed for you, felt like one of those awful folk clubs where people take themselves too seriously( not saying you do at all I must add, just a vision it gave me) The playing & recording were fine but it just kept going on & on for me. I count this as my least favourite of yours

[James Nighthawk]

@Ramsy

Ta for the production points. I was having trouble mixes this track at first. I did three mixes of this and left them for a week or two and came back to decide. I settled on the one with the vocals clear but not over powering. Its strange that some people find the vocals forward and breathy, others thin and a little distant. Different ears I guess. But thanks for your compliments about the other sounds. I was going through a percussion phase at the time so the forward percussion was part of that. I am more drummer centric nowadays

 

[James Nighthawk]

@ Songsmith et al

I was fully expecting this to bomb on here, moreso than infact it did, so I was pleasantly surprised hat a few have liked it

It is musically simple, a little long for many tastes and yes it does loop the same ideas. I was under no delusions about this Regardless, this track means something to me and I still like it for some largely unquantifiable reason. I quite like a simple song now and again, something unchallenging to the ear that just floats along... 

And RE those folksy people of which you speak in folk clubs; they are fine by me. So long as they are in key. I am cool with a 10 minute epic about love lost over a few beers, but when the vocal is bad too I'll take some fresh air till the next act ta   

[Songsmith]

Good on you, you were brave to put it up with those expectations & not everyones cuppa tea but what the hell. If it has meanings for you then that is what is most important. Salut!!

[Kafla]

Good on you, you were brave to put it up with those expectations & not everyones cuppa tea but what the hell. If it has meanings for you then that is what is most important. Salut!!

Agreed

A lot of safe songs go up - its nice to have such conviction regarding your songs and at the end of the day you must write/record to please yourself 

[tina m]

ive listened to it again & decided its realy quite charming with its sort of quaint romantic period feel & olde language
i started thinking of colin firth in pride & predjudice  at one point & once ive started that its almost impossible to stop so i enjoyed it this time!
& i think its more to womens tastes than mens so dont be downheartened by the negitive things people have said 

[Florida Mike]

James, nice fingerstyle playing...I love that stuff. I heard it like a nice Irish Pub song, and in that type of Genre there is certainly a big audience. A kind of back and forth banter and I could sit in a pub and hear this song a drink a pint. Why did you mention Mr. Holmes (me?) in your response to Flossie? LOL...maybe another Holmes perhaps...
Cheff's comment loses me totally...

I find as a newbie that too many people judge on their own taste in "listening to music/buying music" and not on appreciating different styles...

The female singer is not in my opinion a "great memorable singer" but on pitch and for lack of a better term period correct...Again I can visually see a Singer Guitarist Male and a female pulling this off in a Pub and all there having a nice time listening...laid back song, very nice.

[James Nighthawk]

@ Florida Mike
Ta fo the the review
Yup some people will always review on whether they like the song themselves, but I find this forum has less of that than anywhere else. It is only natural to prefer songs in genres one is a fan of. When people say "its not for me" I never take that to heart, opinion is just that

And alas, I was speaking of a slighty more famous, fictional Holmes in my response to Flossie 

[stickboymusic]

This song seems to have split board opinion.

I think its a great folk love song, its traditional but modern.

I have to say it does feel a bit long, I htink you could overcome this by introducing more elements to it musically.... build it up and then break it down for the end.

It feels repitive as musically it is pretty linear and melody wise there are little changes.

Good song though. I think the lyrics work just fine for this song

[Florida Mike]

Elementary my dear James...all the best!

[habiTat]

Hi, I think it rolls along nicely in an Irish pub folky sort of way, Lyrics are lyrics in my view, you wrote them and thought them good enough to record, so to question certain lines that might be cliched etc is a bit like closing the gate after the horse has bolted. The one thing that bothered me, as a listener on headphones, was the shaker in my left ear, I was just aware of it the whole time it was shaking, bit like a fly buzzing round my head. Maybe you could just even it out to both Left and right, or consider replacing it with a tambo, in any case in both ears rather than prominantly on just the one.

John

[Sellon]

I liked the guitar, seemed somehow relaxing....not sure...the song as a whole..well little too smooth and samey for me.

[James Nighthawk]

Thanks for all the feedback guys

Indeed this one seemed to polarise. But that is cool with me! Always good to create an emotion, and equally no songs please everyone nor should they! I have learnt a few things directly from this feedback which is ace!

Namely, I am more OK with clichés than I thought. It is lyrical laziness more than cliché that bothers me with lyric writing, but I never realised that exactly before. Borrowing lines/verses wholesale without a connection or theme linking them, the "Oasis" effect, that is what grates me I think! Just writing about something that has been said before isn't an issue. We all write from experience and some experiences will, as people have said here, be shared with millions of others. This kind of thing allows us to connect. There is a reason we all like songs about love, breakups, etc! 

Thanks again all x