The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: shadowfax on January 16, 2021, 04:45:58 PM
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Hi all and hope the new year goes well considering the circumstances, I've been away, had a few problems, one of them being having the house broken into and a lot of my gear stolen or trashed, the perps were caught a day later trying to sell my cameras, turns out they were from Somalia and live in a hotel not too far away (courtesy of HM government apparently after they arrived in a dingy) luckily I was well insured. House is up for sale and we are moving ASAP. actually thinking about returning to the Czech republic..much safer there. also had some probs with someone accessing my SC page so got a new one.. anyway..a new song..
https://soundcloud.com/user-156896782/anywhereanytime
best, Kevin
I dream the night away,
thinking bout you,
the candle light flickered in your eyes,
shining through,
the emptyness inside,
is where you used to be,
If I ever fall asleep,
you'll be with me,
Anywhere,
is where I wanna be if your there,
I will always find way to your side,
anytime,
I will hear you beating in my heart,
I will always find a way near or far.
I breathe a scented air,
I felt that you were there,
A whisper of wind was all it took to decieve,
the notion of how it would be,
if you were to be here with me,
I balance my world,
on the wing of a prair,
Anywhere,
is where I wanna be if your there,
I will always find way to your side,
anytime,
I will hear you beating in my heart,
I will always find a way near or far. ©KNmac
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I am a fan of love songs and this one is full of delicacy, ethereal sounds and a wonderful reverb surrounding your voice and the backing.
I love this
"I balance my world,
on the wing of a prair"
it's a so beautiful line!
stay safe
Mora
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Lovely, as always, Kevin. I really love the drums!
How awful about your stuff! And now you'll be moving again already. Frustrating. Thank goodness for insurance.
Vicki
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So sorry to hear about your troubles!
The song is beautiful. Feels like it could have been the soundtrack to a movie! Very well written lyrics with lots of beautiful lines! :)
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Hey @shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024), been a while. Sorry to hear about all your problems but great to hear a new song from you. This one is up to your usual high standard when it comes to vocals and production. The song is not quite up there though, it is beautiful and all that but I found the verse and chorus being a bit too similar and the slightly monotone feeling is reinforced as there are no major changes in dynamics or instrumentation. Not bad in any way, but you have set the bar really high by posting all these great songs in the past. Just my personal opinion of course, I'm sure lots of people will love it to pieces.
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Really sorry to hear about your various troubles but good to have you back.
This one's got real drama all through
I like the way you resisted the temptation to so with "far apart" to rhyme with heart!
A rare criticism from me would be on the intro vocals - a bit too wet for my taste. They're fine later with more around them but when exposed there I'd probably back the effects off a touch.
Good luck with everything anyway!
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@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024)
Hi Kevin, that's a bummer about the break in. We had an attempted break in a few years ago and it took ages for us to stop thinking about it, so you have my sympathy. This reminds me a bit of Enya, the synths, breathy voice and dramatic drums. Nicely done could be a theme for a TV programme or a film.
Cheers good to hear from you again!
Jamie
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@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024)
Kevin, I'm so sorry to hear about your break in - nightmare.
As for this song well there is a verse which for me makes the whole thing worth the price of admission:
"I breathe a scented air,
I felt that you were there,
A whisper of wind was all it took to deceive,
the notion of how it would be,
if you were to be here with me,
I balance my world,
on the wing of a prayer"
That for me is absolutely beautiful writing - among the best I've seen on here.
The rest of the song is good - particularly like how it starts. If I'm being harsh I'd say it could have gone somewhere higher and it kind of stayed on one level a little too much. Bit of an abrupt end as well but still a lovely piece and of course, those lyrics :-)
M
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Hi @shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024), yes also sorry to hear about your troubles.
Very lovely song though, heartfelt and quite moving. I like how you avoid kicking into an obvious drumbeat, even to the end, and all the instrumentation is very smooth and understated.
I was quite immersed in it then it suddenly fell away and ended, sadly. Had to play immediately again. Smashing sound and fab writing. ;)
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Hi Kevin
Sorry to hear about the break-in. Must have been something of a trauma. Glad they caught the perps though, that's the missing end of so many victim-of-a-crime stories eh?
Music sounds great! The song really works. Loads of feel, and loads of space for the vocal. Nice, credible melody and a convincing performance. The understated arrangement really compliments the mood of the song. Nicely done mate, can't fault it.
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The bastards >:(
I'm sure the judge will throw (a single page from) the book at them :P
Great to hear from you again! Top quality stuff, as always. Top-notch production too.
I'd be sorely tempted to bail out of the UK, if I had the chance.
Welcome back...you've been missed :)
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Kev,
Great to hear another song from you mate! I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having a shit time! Are u from the Czech Republic?
Anyhoo....this song....THE LYRICS are the star...and by star I mean SUPERSTAR!! Just beautiful writing mate..,the whole thing about dreams at the start but then u say..”if I ever fall asleep, you’ll be there” that’s GOLD! and then yes the second verse is...well, it’s ALL just stunning!
The song itself is nice enough, but I’m sorry to say that for me, it doesn’t live up to the lyrics. The production is top notch...mix is great...it’s just I wanted the song to go somewhere. Sorry man...gotta keep it real with ya...and it’s just my opinion of course.
Good luck with everything buddy.
Leo 😄🎶👊🏻🎶
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@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) beautiful yearning song, nice sparing use of the bass drum which helps builds tension... lovely ethereal production👍