[premississ]

https://soundcloud.com/premississ/my-sadness

I wrote my song because I felt I should he heard.  Hopefully others can hear my song and like it as much as I do.  I'm looking for comments about my playing level on the guitar and vocals too. 

Lyrics:

I don't have you anymore
I feel so sad so sad in side
but if I did
my Sadness would be gone
Cuz you remove every last bit
and I'm grateful for it.

you take away my sadness babe
you take away my sadness babe

They get
But you know they haven't got it down. 
I play but no one seems to want to play along

Assumptions fill the brain
believing it all in vain
and when you begin to ask
you can see that iguana bask

you take away my sadness babe
you take away my sadness babe

I arrive as a passenger on a ship
to the snow
where I would go
faster then I normally would
with a pair of skis strapped below my knees.
And having tasted a dose of this madness
I can say say say

you take away my sadness babe
you take away my sadness babe

I

[Moomond]

Hi Premississ. Sounds like you recorded this on one mic - have you considered multi-tracking your recordings? That way you can adjust the levels for your mic and guitar (and any others) separately, add separate effects etc. Generally gives you a lot more control.

It's a very simple song. Maybe that's what you were going for? Certainly lyrically, I don't see a great deal of complexity, which may or may not be a bad thing. Personally, I place a lot of store in lyrics, so there wasn't enough there for me to sink my teeth into.

I think the riff has potential, might be something to work with a band on.

[mickyplankton]

I'd echo Moonmond here, and add that although the lyrics are a bit weak, the raw material is pretty good. Ie your guitar playing and singing. The dynamics of the song need a rthym section to bring them to life. So stick with it, but try to lay down a bass line and drum beat. Cheers Micky

[boolio]

Hi

I have to say I’d repeat most of the points above…if you could give the whole thing a little more depth. Maybe by just using additional mics (or altering their position) you could make this sound a bit more appealing that said I don’t think there’s much wrong with your vocal and your playing sounds just fine but I would need to hear more of it (in variation) to really pass judgement.

Phil

PS
If you want more feedback try doing some reviews yourself...