[mickyplankton]

Hi all,

This is a brand new song. Written and recorded (entirely with Garageband) in about 3 hours which is a record for me! It was a bit a of a throwaway experiment but im quite pleased with the result so i thought i would submit it for you to appraise! Its a bit of a departure from the garage rock vibe of our band and has more of a dance beat.

Anyhow, heres the lyrics and song link:

Myths of the World

Are ghosts the same as UFO’s?
At the end of the day, nobody knows
 
Is Nessie the same as the Abominable Snowman?
Hey don’t ask me I’m just getting high man

Is Jesus Santa and the Devil Satan?
That’s a question that’ll take some explainin’

What about the vampires and gigantic squid?
I know I saw one, I’m sure I did

But once again, the question remains,
I’ll make it clear and make it plain

Are ghosts really the same as UFO’s?
At the end of the day, nobody knows

https://soundcloud.com/mickyplankton/the-myths-of-the-world-1-1

[tina m]

well I liked the title
I thought you couldve done a lot with that but tbh the lyrics sounded a little bit silly

it is possible I suppose to stick a handful of loops together in garageband & make it repeat for 3 minutes & create a masterpiece if you have a genius idea ,
but most of the time what you end up with is just 3 minutes of looping loops that dont go anywhere
& this just repeated so much i cant realy believe youre going to wake up tomorrow & still like it 
I am very sorry to be so negative ,but we all need some sort of quality control ,
your first song was very good!

[mickyplankton]

Hi Tinam.

Thanks for the feedback. And don't apologise for being negative. It's probably the most important feedback I've had yet on the forum. Quality control is one of the most important skills you can develop and I must confess I'm hopeless at it! Each time I write a song, I get equally excited by it, regardless of whether it is any good or not, and sometimes it takes me months to realise that I've written a dud.
This is precisely why I joined the forum Tinan, for honest objective feedback, and also of course to discover talent and appreciate quality songwriting of others.
I've several songs in production right now and I guarantee that my next offering will have taken far longer than 3 hours to put together. So watch this space!

Micky.

[shadowfax]

I reckon your singing this in too low a key....some aspects of the lryics are quite good (if Lennon had written them peeps would consider them differently) but, some aspects of the lyrics are a bit silly also but, does that matter? not sure..
backing track could be made more interesting with little effort...

keep on keepin on my friend..

[Mono Stone]

I didn't expect to like it, after reading other comments here... but I do... it's catchy, and has a bit of a New Order being silly kind of vibe about it (I think it's the way you sing it).

[tina m]

i was lying in bed last night thinking that poor man will be devastated ive rubbished his song
how could i be so nasty !
so im glad you are alright about it
now ive read it again it wasnt as bad as i remembered it anyway...
my point was never post anything until youve had the benefit of a few days to assess its worth objectively ...which seems to be what you took from it

[jamesh]

Hi

I've had a look at Garage Band and am amazed by how quickly you can pull loops in and build up a track. Ultimately though, I dont think it offers enough variation in your track to keep me interested. From what I can hear the bass, drums and keyboard are the same from the beginning to the end! I need light and dark, loud and quiet, busy, not busy. Also, as previously mentioned, the vocal is sung quite low, and I dont thing that allows the melody to come through.

Its nice to have some off the wall lyrics occasionally though!

James

[TimCurtis]

Not a bad song - but as others have said, could do with expanding on.  Sounds a little like The Fall to me. There's enough variation in it to keep my attention, but fades out just as it sounds like it's about to go somewhere new.  I hope you continue with this one and post again - always interested to hear how songs change and evolve during the writing process.

[mickyplankton]

Thanks for the additional feedback guys. Funny you should mention the Fall Tim. As the Fall are partly the inspiration. They are masters at crafting pulsing songs that rely on endlessly repeating loops. I've always been fascinated by this style. Although in this instance the inspiration was Jump into the Fire by Harry Nilsson.
I'm not sure what to do with this song. I will probably move on and chalk it up to experience, but you never know....

[jamesh]

Well, if you can do all that in 3 hours, imagine what you could do in 6 hours!

I think its worth pursuing too.


James

[Skub]

Yo MP.

Sometimes songs evolve over time,keep it around and you never know what way it may change over time.

Loops can be used to begin the building process of a song,particularly if you don't have an instrument handy at the time,but I think as the song progresses and grows,then the loops become phased out and replaced with something more organic and dynamic.

You are right to explore all avenues of songwriting,you never know what you'll discover. 

[boolio]

Hi, (very?

I think is fabulous! Catchy and lyrically to the point for me (I don't think the words silly at all...)

I'd go along with Shadowfax though that the key could have been lifted on the vocal and okay it could do with nurturing but as this is just three hours work...good job!!

Phil

[pompeyjazz]

 Hi Micky, you've done really well to get this together in 3 hours. Liked it, it was bouncy and moved along well. Like the synth sounds. My only suggestions would be to firstly take some reverb off the vocals and work a bit on the eq to make them a bit more bright and maybe you could introduce a middle 8 or sparse breakdown section. Good stuff

[ScottLevi]

Aha Micky,

I'm sure all the contradictions aren't too helpful; but it's nice to see something different and I thought it was real groovy.

Id pretty much agree with John; a sparse breakdown would be cool (something like the intro?) and I do feel like a bit of experimenting on the vocals could bring them out a bit but whether that's reverb, eq or key I'm not knowledgeable enough to suggest.

3 Hours is impressive too, useful skill to have I'm sure.

All the best,
Scott.

[Boydie]

This is quite an eclectic mix of styles

I wasn't expecting the EDM synths and dance loop

The lyric clearly had "something to say", which I think got a little lost in the production/arrangement

I agree with the comment about the vocal being a bit low (tonally, not volume) - I think a jump to a higher register would have given the song more of a "lift" to help maintain interest