The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: crystalsuzy on May 15, 2016, 01:12:00 PM
-
Hi guys, Here's one I've been working on and I don't know if it's working or not ??? It's about the over prescribing of prescription drugs, particularly opiates and benzo's and the devastating effect it has on
the life of this particular, young person :o The Doctors name happened to be Dr Symons, so that's why I brought the 'Simon's Says' game into the song...if indeed it is a song at all ;)
How's the mix? Are the words easily understood? Is it too chaotic? Does the title work?
Are the vocals loud enough in the mix? Do you think I should sing the Doctor bits instead
of speak them, or is it effective as is?
Any constructive feedback will be most welcome...I think it needs more then one listen because there's so much going on :o
thanks for listening and your patience :) Lyrics on SC :)
https://soundcloud.com/crystalsuzy/simon-says/s-defSn
-
Interesting and creative! I think the busy-ness suits the subject matter. I did have trouble making out some of the words, but I would wait for other feedback before making changes. I have loud tinnitus that tends to drown out some sounds. :P
Other than that, I have no crits. I think the treatment is very effective.
Vicki
-
This is great Suzy, really creative and inventive with loads of thought put it into it...I loved it from start to finish because I didn´t know what to expect next. Some of the different instrumentation is superb and I love the violin when the doc is listing all the drugs, although I think it sounded a bit synthy on some notes. There are other different bits though that are ecelctic and great to listen to. I loved the mood change at 3:47 and the tone of voice that comes in at 3:56 (which almost made me jump). The funky bass works really well also and the weird harmonies/melodies and well, almost everything else :D
I´m not 100% sure but I think your voice peaked a little on the lines "I fell off my bike..." and "My back´s real sore...". Plus the only lines I thought were a bit busy were: "Cause I got a drug for everything, Or haven’t you heard; I’m the pill king"...you could simply change it too "I got a drug for everything, you know I´m the pill king".
It may not be to everyone´s taste, but that´s because they don´t know what they´re talking about :P
Really excellent work.
-
this is so fabulously creative suzy & impossible to take in on one listen...its more like side one of a album than a song!
You are realy going to town with the vocal possiblities on your latest songs I have heard....loads of genius overdubs & amazing voice ideas ...i dont know of anyone else doing this kind of thing !
the song samples youve got in between the verses are great but as they are all different it did scramble my brain a bit & made the song sound like it was all fragments till I listened twice & made sense of it
it realy is brilliant & I think putting it together would fry my brain & id end up at the doctors being prescribed something for extreme songwriting injury!
I know im alwqys complaining about song titles but this ones been used so many times I think it takes the shine of originality off your brilliant song ... maybe there is a better title?
awesome work suzy... a song of the month i think:)
-
Wow ! What can I say after my first listen Suzy ? Your work is always highly creative and unconventional which gets an enormous tick from me. There is so much going on here, a great story of a slippery slope , great changes in rhythm and timing, some fantastic instrumental stuff (love the slap bass and the violins) I think you may well be Frank Zappa (My hero) reincarnated :) I am going to have to listen to this quite a few more times to appreciate the subtleties. Absolutely gripping.
Cheers pompeyjazz (Not Pompey :))
-
Interesting and creative! I think the busy-ness suits the subject matter. I did have trouble making out some of the words, but I would wait for other feedback before making changes. I have loud tinnitus that tends to drown out some sounds. :P
Other than that, I have no crits. I think the treatment is very effective.
Vicki
Thanks for taking a listen Vicki :) "Interesting and creative"...what a nice compliment and thanks for
the thumbs up on the business :o Sorry to hear about your tinnitus! :(
-
Hey Suzy,where does one begin to offer opinion on this one? I feel er..under qualified :o
There is so much innovation and creativity on this track,it would have done me for about ten songs! :D
You fairly pack in the ideas girl,I'd be frightened to use so many in case I used them all in one go! :D
You occupy territory populated by such luminaries as Bjork and Imogen Heap,the song itself is a sonic experience and I may be digesting it for some considerable time...*
*skub falls off his chair,twitches a bit,smiles,then lies still...
-
Wow! Suzy,the little peeps that work the creative part in your brain deserve a rise!! :D
You have put together a very clever song.The lyrics are great and you've obviously worked very hard on the production.
You wanted some advice and like Skub this kind of song is above my pay grade creatively.However il have a go and please keep or sweep ;D
Titles cool and I think youd have to be a bit silly without the backstory to not figure out that Simons the doc! :D
Mix is ok Suzy,now listen I'm no pro by a long shot,but for me I think the vocals need a little tlc on the mixing side of things,although I do recall you saying that you record directly into the phone mic which might be more of the issue.I used to do that with a lot of my older songs with the iPad mic and I never really did manage to tame the high end frequencies/esses properly. >:( Do you use a pop filter? I read somewhere that putting a thin sock over the phone helps a lot with that stuff or you could use Lennons trick of waving his hand in front of his mouth on any ssss or pppp's (he had the iPhone 4s if I recall correctly!! ;D ) I had no trouble with hearing the words but if you didn't use compression then that's maybe something to look into in the future as its a great trick to make vocals really stand out (in moderation of course:) a great website I use with loads of free videos on production tips is therecordingrevolution.com
I think the spoken doc bits work fine! Is that really you?? Great stuff!
I love how you slow the music down in places to fit the lyrics.Very cool!
I listened 3 times and others may disagree as this is subjective and I'm probably wrong but I kinda feel like it needs more of a hook? There's so much going on which is AWESOME but maybe a hook would glue everything together a little better? Eeek!
I hope you don't take any offence to that Suzy as I'm a big fan and I'm just trying to help where I can as you requested.
All the best
Leo ;D
-
This is great Suzy, really creative and inventive with loads of thought put it into it...I loved it from start to finish because I didn´t know what to expect next. Some of the different instrumentation is superb and I love the violin when the doc is listing all the drugs, although I think it sounded a bit synthy on some notes. There are other different bits though that are ecelctic and great to listen to. I loved the mood change at 3:47 and the tone of voice that comes in at 3:56 (which almost made me jump). The funky bass works really well also and the weird harmonies/melodies and well, almost everything else :D
I´m not 100% sure but I think your voice peaked a little on the lines "I fell off my bike..." and "My back´s real sore...". Plus the only lines I thought were a bit busy were: "Cause I got a drug for everything, Or haven’t you heard; I’m the pill king"...you could simply change it too "I got a drug for everything, you know I´m the pill king".
It may not be to everyone´s taste, but that´s because they don´t know what they´re talking about :P
Really excellent work.
thanks so much for your very kind and supportive review MR :) I'm humbled!
You're right about the synth in there with the violin...they go back and forth ::)
I'm glad to hear the weird harmonies worked for you...I wasn't too sure about them ::)
"you know I´m the pill king"< if I get a chance, I might try that :) :)
-
this is so fabulously creative suzy & impossible to take in on one listen...its more like side one of a album than a song!
You are realy going to town with the vocal possiblities on your latest songs I have heard....loads of genius overdubs & amazing voice ideas ...i dont know of anyone else doing this kind of thing !
the song samples youve got in between the verses are great but as they are all different it did scramble my brain a bit & made the song sound like it was all fragments till I listened twice & made sense of it
it realy is brilliant & I think putting it together would fry my brain & id end up at the doctors being prescribed something for extreme songwriting injury!
I know im alwqys complaining about song titles but this ones been used so many times I think it takes the shine of originality off your brilliant song ... maybe there is a better title?
awesome work suzy... a song of the month i think:)
thanks so much Tina...I really appreciate the kind comments :) I'm humbled once again! I was hesitant to even post this song because it's so crazy and off the wall, but I'm really happy that people are liking it so far :) It was one that I had to write, because it's so personnel :( this has happened to several people that are very close to me :(
I know what you mean about it being a little fragmented...not sure how to fix that ???
I was wondering about the title and whether it worked or not...what about 'Simon Says, Take This'? ;)
-
Hi Suzy
1. What a great topic for a song
2. What a great way to tell the story in non-preachy but hard hitting way
3. But... (sorry there had to be a but!) If I am really honest, I have to say I pressed play and then almost immediately pressed stop as the beginning turned me off a bit - I think my knee-jerk reaction was something like "oh no, sounds very unmelodic and possibly hard work". Admittedly that was before reading the lyrics, and now I have listened again and could get into and enjoy it.
I wonder if you might consider compromising a little and starting a little more accessibly - possibly by having a sweeter harmony on the "Simon says" intro part, or maybe even going staight into the more melodic "Doctor, doctor" part? I might be alone on this of course, but just a thought.
Just listened again and appreciating more details - like the fiddle on the street corner! And the general descent into an unbalanced world. It's a huge and rewarding piece of work.
-
Wow ! What can I say after my first listen Suzy ? Your work is always highly creative and unconventional which gets an enormous tick from me. There is so much going on here, a great story of a slippery slope , great changes in rhythm and timing, some fantastic instrumental stuff (love the slap bass and the violins) I think you may well be Frank Zappa (My hero) reincarnated :) I am going to have to listen to this quite a few more times to appreciate the subtleties. Absolutely gripping.
Cheers pompeyjazz (Not Pompey :))
Thanks for your kind words pompeyjazz ;D I'm really such a novice at all this production stuff, that
it always amazes me that anything turns out listenable, at all :o I know this one still needs some work ::)
I wish I was good friends with a good producer ;) Frank Zappa...cool 8)
-
Hi Suzy, very creative and unconventional. I also thought of early Zappa stuff, this would fit perfectly on one of his early ones! There's a Zappa song that has lines starting ' believe me when I tell you that this stuff is really true, and another line about kennys little creature on display'I can't think of the title though. This really reminds me of that. Must have taken ages to glue all this together?
Cheers
Jamie
-
This is wonderful! As others have said, way too much to take in on one listen - but well worth multiple listens. I love the way it develops and changes and slows and fades just like I've been taking too many pills. Lyrics are a work of art and the production and construction are brilliant. Last few seconds are genius!
It's so far away from anything I could do or conceive of that I don't feel qualified to offer any criticism other than to say I just loved it. I agree with the Frank Zappa comparisons too - a female Zappa. There's a world for you to step into and rule!! Go for it :)
-
Suzie,
Very interesting ....can hear the message that you are conveying.
Definitely Pop Art at its best...a great soundtrack to the right movie.
Sandeep
-
Good news - bad news.
Good news is that I really liked this.
Bad news is that I don't have much more than that to contribute. No improvements, no suggestions.
Not really a critique that way. Just an "attagirl."
-
More of a sound collage than a song to me ears, it really told the story in a brutal nightmarish way.
The level of detail throughout is breathtaking, the changes in sound and use of effects all telling the story.
Truly great stuff!
Tom.
-
Hey Suzy,where does one begin to offer opinion on this one? I feel er..under qualified :o
There is so much innovation and creativity on this track,it would have done me for about ten songs! :D
You fairly pack in the ideas girl,I'd be frightened to use so many in case I used them all in one go! :D
You occupy territory populated by such luminaries as Bjork and Imogen Heap,the song itself is a sonic experience and I may be digesting it for some considerable time...*
*skub falls off his chair,twitches a bit,smiles,then lies still...
Thanks Skub! I hope you didn't hurt yourself falling off your chair ;D I'm humbled by your comments and your comparisons :-X You're too kind, but I don't think I would be worthy of kissing those guys boots...but I'll certainly take the compliment ;) ;D thanks again :)
-
Wow! Suzy,the little peeps that work the creative part in your brain deserve a rise!! :D
You have put together a very clever song.The lyrics are great and you've obviously worked very hard on the production.
You wanted some advice and like Skub this kind of song is above my pay grade creatively.However il have a go and please keep or sweep ;D
Titles cool and I think youd have to be a bit silly without the backstory to not figure out that Simons the doc! :D
Mix is ok Suzy,now listen I'm no pro by a long shot,but for me I think the vocals need a little tlc on the mixing side of things,although I do recall you saying that you record directly into the phone mic which might be more of the issue.I used to do that with a lot of my older songs with the iPad mic and I never really did manage to tame the high end frequencies/esses properly. >:( Do you use a pop filter? I read somewhere that putting a thin sock over the phone helps a lot with that stuff or you could use Lennons trick of waving his hand in front of his mouth on any ssss or pppp's (he had the iPhone 4s if I recall correctly!! ;D ) I had no trouble with hearing the words but if you didn't use compression then that's maybe something to look into in the future as its a great trick to make vocals really stand out (in moderation of course:) a great website I use with loads of free videos on production tips is therecordingrevolution.com
I think the spoken doc bits work fine! Is that really you?? Great stuff!
I love how you slow the music down in places to fit the lyrics.Very cool!
I listened 3 times and others may disagree as this is subjective and I'm probably wrong but I kinda feel like it needs more of a hook? There's so much going on which is AWESOME but maybe a hook would glue everything together a little better? Eeek!
I hope you don't take any offence to that Suzy as I'm a big fan and I'm just trying to help where I can as you requested.
All the best
Leo ;D
Thanks so much for your kind comments and taking the time to do such an in-depth review Leo :)
I'm in total agreement with your suggestions :o I did record this one with my headphone mic, merely because I was too lazy to set my good mic up, and when I'm using effects, like I did in this one, I kind of like the sound of the cheap mic, but at the expense of pops/essses coming through :o
Yes, all the vocals are me :o I've just learned how to slow down and speed up the entire track, so I was having fun with that ;D
I think you're right about this needing a catchy hook and I'm trying to come up with something, but not having much luck ::) if you have any idea's please feel free to share.
BTW< Don't worry, I would never take any offense to such helpful suggestions :)
-
'All the Pams in other words' - love it.
Your vocal and musical tapestries are a treat. Not just the lyric but the delivery is always so varied and full of imagination and originality. You are never constrained by anything and the result is always captivating.
This particular creation has a sobering message for me being reliant on a small pharmacy's worth of drugs and only feeling safe and happy when my pill box is fully loaded for the week ahead! I kind-a agree that many doctors dole out drugs too readily. In a yearly review my latest doctor told me 'Of all the tablets you're on, Aspirin is the only one we KNOW is doing any good'.
The Doctor parts are great as they are. Really I think that spoken voice works well. I like the enthusiasm it shows for the drugs and the belief in them.
Yes, I understood most of the words but used the printed lyric on the second run through (i thought the line was 'I fell on my arse and hurt my knee' until l I read the lyric).
You say you incorporated 'Simon Says' into the song but I also heard 'nobody like me' in there 'long , green fat ones'.
I really can't think of any suggestions for this WIP. It came over to me like most of your work does ... on first listen (always just listening not reading lyrics) there are things I I'm not sure about but by the second listen it all seems right and then I just can't remember what I wasn't sure about. I think that, because you are unconventional I always need to hear it once before I 'feel' adjacent parts work together. Unlike a standard rock or pop song which goes where you kind-a expect it to go and so, makes you feel at home sooner. Like seeking out the MacDonald's in a strange town so you know what it's going to look like on the other side of the door rather than exploring the converted double garage in a back street that serves wonderful chicken and is run by a lovely couple who cannot speak your language but still manage to welcome you like their own and engross you in conversation played out in some add-hock sign language / hilarious dance. Sorry, strayed off the path a bit there. But the double garage restaurant thing really happened to me! ... what was I trying to say? ... You're not like MacDonnald's
-
Hi Suzy,
I've already told you what I think of this piece of Crystal ingenuity, but thought I'd revisit it after a week or so.
I noticed the shifts in tempo more this time - works really well - could it be that you've invented psychedelic grunge?
It still feels like 10 episodes of a mad tv series speeded (or should it be "sped"? I'll leave that for the grammar police) up to fit into one glorious event - but that's why it works so well.
Whilst I seem to write in straight lines, your songs have more curves than Marilyn Monroe. :)
Digger
-
Hi Suzy
1. What a great topic for a song
2. What a great way to tell the story in non-preachy but hard hitting way
3. But... (sorry there had to be a but!) If I am really honest, I have to say I pressed play and then almost immediately pressed stop as the beginning turned me off a bit - I think my knee-jerk reaction was something like "oh no, sounds very unmelodic and possibly hard work". Admittedly that was before reading the lyrics, and now I have listened again and could get into and enjoy it.
I wonder if you might consider compromising a little and starting a little more accessibly - possibly by having a sweeter harmony on the "Simon says" intro part, or maybe even going staight into the more melodic "Doctor, doctor" part? I might be alone on this of course, but just a thought.
Just listened again and appreciating more details - like the fiddle on the street corner! And the general descent into an unbalanced world. It's a huge and rewarding piece of work.
Hey Adam...thanks for listening and your honest feedback, and to be honest, I wasn't totally married to that intro :o I've been working on something a little different, so when/if I get it presentable,
I'll run it by you, to see if it sounds more accessible :) I think it will also set up the song better, and
seeing how this is a WIP, so I'm open to any constructive suggestions :)
-
Hi Suzy,
I had forgotten just how inventive, clever and ambitious your music is. So many brilliant lines and musical ideas all tripping out one after the other (sorry about that). This is a very rich vein you have mined here and the scope and scale of what you've covered is pretty amazing.
I'm thinking this is probably the best thing you've come up with so far. Nothing to critique negatively - it all good. Mix, vocals, production all spot on.
In another fairer universe this would be No.1
Awesome.
M
-
Hi CS
Just want to echo what others have said - very creative and well put together.
Not easy to do all those tempo changes in a DAW - well, for me not easy.
You've pulled it off flawlessly. My only crit is length but no-one else mentioned it so forget that I did too.
Good stuff!
Paul
-
Hi Suzy, very creative and unconventional. I also thought of early Zappa stuff, this would fit perfectly on one of his early ones! There's a Zappa song that has lines starting ' believe me when I tell you that this stuff is really true, and another line about kennys little creature on display'I can't think of the title though. This really reminds me of that. Must have taken ages to glue all this together?
Cheers
Jamie
Zappa again! Wow, thanks Jamie :o I was never a huge Zappa fan, but I'll try and find that song, because now I'm really curious :o Yes this did take a few days, and it's not really finished yet ::)
-
This is wonderful! As others have said, way too much to take in on one listen - but well worth multiple listens. I love the way it develops and changes and slows and fades just like I've been taking too many pills. Lyrics are a work of art and the production and construction are brilliant. Last few seconds are genius!
It's so far away from anything I could do or conceive of that I don't feel qualified to offer any criticism other than to say I just loved it. I agree with the Frank Zappa comparisons too - a female Zappa. There's a world for you to step into and rule!! Go for it :)
Thanks so much for your very kind and humbling comments delb0y...I'm so glad you liked it :)
I guess I do tend to get a little over exuberant about how much I put into a song ::)
"a female Zappa" :o I like it ;DSuzie,
Very interesting ....can hear the message that you are conveying.
Definitely Pop Art at its best...a great soundtrack to the right movie.
Sandeep
Thanks Sandeep :) the message is what this song is all about, so I glad you got it :)Good news - bad news.
Good news is that I really liked this.
Bad news is that I don't have much more than that to contribute. No improvements, no suggestions.
Not really a critique that way. Just an "attagirl."
Thanks htm :) that is good news...what more could I ask for ;D
-
Hello! This music bewitches by its unpredictability! Very interesting style reminding Broadway shows.
-
More of a sound collage than a song to me ears, it really told the story in a brutal nightmarish way.
The level of detail throughout is breathtaking, the changes in sound and use of effects all telling the story.
Truly great stuff!
Tom.
Thanks Tom, I really appreciate your supportive comments, and I think you're absolutely right in
your description<"sound collage"> :) I like that :) I'm glad the story resonated with you that way, because it is a 'nightmare' :o
-
Totally bizarre but wonderfully fascinating. Held my attention and I loved the narrative. Awesome stuff.
-
Yep, this is Suzy alright. Don't know what to say really, this is one crazy sonic mayhem of a song with so many layers, twist and turns it makes my head spin. Since I'm just a simple mainstream guy all you songs are walking a very fine line between brilliant and plain madness for me. And for the first time I think there is just a tad to much of (very well organized) chaos for me to really appreciate the song.
But still, I may not be crazy about it as a song but I bow my head in deep admiration and respect for coming up with such a complex beast and also to able execute it so well!
-
Fun song, crystalsuzy.....love the bubbly bass 8) Nice lyrical work, too!!
Bizarre is a good adjective for this :o
Good stuff, and FUN!
-Tom
-
'All the Pams in other words' - love it.
Your vocal and musical tapestries are a treat. Not just the lyric but the delivery is always so varied and full of imagination and originality. You are never constrained by anything and the result is always captivating.
This particular creation has a sobering message for me being reliant on a small pharmacy's worth of drugs and only feeling safe and happy when my pill box is fully loaded for the week ahead! I kind-a agree that many doctors dole out drugs too readily. In a yearly review my latest doctor told me 'Of all the tablets you're on, Aspirin is the only one we KNOW is doing any good'.
The Doctor parts are great as they are. Really I think that spoken voice works well. I like the enthusiasm it shows for the drugs and the belief in them.
Yes, I understood most of the words but used the printed lyric on the second run through (i thought the line was 'I fell on my arse and hurt my knee' until l I read the lyric).
You say you incorporated 'Simon Says' into the song but I also heard 'nobody like me' in there 'long , green fat ones'.
I really can't think of any suggestions for this WIP. It came over to me like most of your work does ... on first listen (always just listening not reading lyrics) there are things I I'm not sure about but by the second listen it all seems right and then I just can't remember what I wasn't sure about. I think that, because you are unconventional I always need to hear it once before I 'feel' adjacent parts work together. Unlike a standard rock or pop song which goes where you kind-a expect it to go and so, makes you feel at home sooner. Like seeking out the MacDonald's in a strange town so you know what it's going to look like on the other side of the door rather than exploring the converted double garage in a back street that serves wonderful chicken and is run by a lovely couple who cannot speak your language but still manage to welcome you like their own and engross you in conversation played out in some add-hock sign language / hilarious dance. Sorry, strayed off the path a bit there. But the double garage restaurant thing really happened to me! ... what was I trying to say? ... You're not like MacDonnald's
What a lovely review ST :) I'm so glad I'm NOT a MacDonalds...maybe an A&W...well at least they don't use hormonal fed beef or chicken ;D ;D We have become a very drug reliant society, but pharmaceuticals can save lives, so I'm not totally anti-pills, but I sure am against doctors prescribing addictive drugs, like opiates and benzos, unnecessarily, especially to young people :o The number of young people on Methadone in my town, is unbelievable, and the number of OD's, is equally shocking :o It's like an epidemic :o That's why I wrote this song ::) Thanks again for your very kind review :)
-
CS, you have the most wonderfully creative and deranged musical muse in the western world, i have no idea how you conceive of these works let alone execute them.
Keep taking the pills.
:) :)
Neil
-
Hi Suzy,
I've already told you what I think of this piece of Crystal ingenuity, but thought I'd revisit it after a week or so.
I noticed the shifts in tempo more this time - works really well - could it be that you've invented psychedelic grunge?
It still feels like 10 episodes of a mad tv series speeded (or should it be "sped"? I'll leave that for the grammar police) up to fit into one glorious event - but that's why it works so well.
Whilst I seem to write in straight lines, your songs have more curves than Marilyn Monroe. :)
Digger
LOL< digger and thanks for stopping in for another listen ;D "psychedelic grunge"///I love it ;)
I think it would be 'sped' up(but I'm no English major) :o but I just learned how to do that with this track, so I was having fun with it ;D Thanks for your supportive comments :) :)
-
Suzy you never fail to amaze me with your originality. You put more creativity in one track than I have in everything I have ever written. This is a very very clever piece and I can totally relate to it with the amount of drugs my pharmacy 'pushes' on me.
I thought the vocals on this were the highlight. So much happening there with all the overdubs. I think it will take a few listens to really grasp it all.
Great stuff
Allan.
-
How did I miss this awesome piece of work??? ??? ???
you bring a whole new meaning to original
this is such a hi bar, my word..speechless...
sorry I missed it for so long..... :) :)
-
Hi Suzy,
I had forgotten just how inventive, clever and ambitious your music is. So many brilliant lines and musical ideas all tripping out one after the other (sorry about that). This is a very rich vein you have mined here and the scope and scale of what you've covered is pretty amazing.
I'm thinking this is probably the best thing you've come up with so far. Nothing to critique negatively - it all good. Mix, vocals, production all spot on.
In another fairer universe this would be No.1
Awesome.
M
Thank you my friend :-[ I'm humbled by your comments and appreciated you support :) In a fairer
universe, we'd all be #1 :)
Hi CS
Just want to echo what others have said - very creative and well put together.
Not easy to do all those tempo changes in a DAW - well, for me not easy.
You've pulled it off flawlessly. My only crit is length but no-one else mentioned it so forget that I did too.
Good stuff!
Paul
Thanks, my fellow Canuck :) I just learned how to manipulate the master tempo, so I kind of went a little crazy with it :o I know it's a little on the long side, but I didn't know how to shorten it, without
loosing the story ::) But that's just my ADHD, I guess ::) ::)
-
Hello! This music bewitches by its unpredictability! Very interesting style reminding Broadway shows.
Thanks for listening and I'm glad you found it bewitching Stan :)
Totally bizarre but wonderfully fascinating. Held my attention and I loved the narrative. Awesome stuff.
Thanks for your kind comments, mwr :)
Yep, this is Suzy alright. Don't know what to say really, this is one crazy sonic mayhem of a song with so many layers, twist and turns it makes my head spin. Since I'm just a simple mainstream guy all you songs are walking a very fine line between brilliant and plain madness for me. And for the first time I think there is just a tad to much of (very well organized) chaos for me to really appreciate the song.
But still, I may not be crazy about it as a song but I bow my head in deep admiration and respect for coming up with such a complex beast and also to able execute it so well!
Thanks for listening, JB :) Sorry if this one was a little too chaotic for you, but if you think the song is chaotic, you should try living with someone this happened to :o I knew it would be a little too crazy
for some people, and I'm actually surprised at how many people actually liked it :o
Fun song, crystalsuzy.....love the bubbly bass 8) Nice lyrical work, too!!
Bizarre is a good adjective for this :o
Good stuff, and FUN!
-Tom
Thanks for picking up on the humorous aspects of this song, Tom :) Humour, to a point, is the only way you can get through this kind of tragic situation ;)
CS, you have the most wonderfully creative and deranged musical muse in the western world, i have no idea how you conceive of these works let alone execute them.
Keep taking the pills.
:) :)
Neil
Unfortunately in this case, life, is how I come up with this kind of material, Neil :o Thanks for the
Kudos :) :)
-
this is real life
i listened on headphones to this tonight its a brilliant piece
its alive
mix must have been a nightmare all the details and parts .. you dress the scenes so well and more voices than peter sellars
and its quite affecting powerful
really glad i put those cans on.. well worth it
did you ever see a movie called 'requiem for a dream'.. this could be the soundtrack
-
Firstly - the theme and lyrics are spot on!
Secondly - its creative in the extreme. Some of the little interludes, such as little hip-hop piece and the fiddle part that turns electronic are touches of genuis. Some real quality coming in and out. I think they are only done justice when you listen through headphones, rather than a laptop speaker.
Finally - it is very chaotic, which doesn't make it all that pleasant to listen to - but I don't think that was the intention. The feel sums up the disarray of the whole profit driven pharmaceutical industry and its human impacts perfectly. Probably with a bit of caffeine addiction thrown in.
Maybe some of the vocal parts could be a touch quieter in the mix - I'd like to hear the music more.
Brilliant
-
Love your creativity as usual. Fantastic way to bring this subject to our attention. YOU are Zappa girl! ;D
What is going true your mind while writing?? haha. Crazy stuff in a very good way! Loved it Crystal.
Intellectual humor. You like that right?
KIU.
Greetz,
Bad Jeans ( BdK )
-
Suzy you never fail to amaze me with your originality. You put more creativity in one track than I have in everything I have ever written. This is a very very clever piece and I can totally relate to it with the amount of drugs my pharmacy 'pushes' on me.
I thought the vocals on this were the highlight. So much happening there with all the overdubs. I think it will take a few listens to really grasp it all.
Great stuff
Allan.
Thanks so much for listening and your kind comments, Allan :) I think you are a very creative songwriter yourself :) Most adults, take at least one prescription drug and sometimes
they're a life saver, but when doctors push addictive drugs on young people for minor things, I think that's a crime :o The vocals were fun to do in this, so thanks for the thumbs up :) :)
How did I miss this awesome piece of work??? ??? ???
you bring a whole new meaning to original
this is such a hi bar, my word..speechless...
sorry I missed it for so long..... :) :)
I really appreciate your kind words, Kevin :) I'm humbled :)
this is real life
i listened on headphones to this tonight its a brilliant piece
its alive
mix must have been a nightmare all the details and parts .. you dress the scenes so well and more voices than peter sellars
and its quite affecting powerful
really glad i put those cans on.. well worth it
did you ever see a movie called 'requiem for a dream'.. this could be the soundtrack
Thanks Nooms, and yes, you're right...this is 'real life', and yes it does sound better on
headphones :) Not sure if I've seen that movie, but I well check it out :)