[PeeJay]

Buy Yourself A Bass And Join The Band:

Well Joe there he's our singer
He bags all the girls
While Billy boy's the axeman
Riffing sweet electric pearls

Yours truly here's the drummer
I'm a crazy kinda guy
So we need someone who's steady
Help me out in the back line

(Ch)
You've got the gig no need to vote
Don't worry you can't play a note
Just try to look authentic if you can
Buy yourself a bass and join the band

This month is kinda busy
So we hope you'll come aboard
Rehearsals are on Sundays
Try to learn a coupla chords

Hey no one's gonna notice
If you make the odd mistake
All eyes will be on Joey
As he makes the ladies quake

(Ch)
You've got the gig no need to vote
Don't worry you can't play a note
Just stare down at the frets and move your hands
Buy yourself a bass and join the band

(Br)
Last guy got above his station
Smiled too much and threw some shapes
Our front man can't take competition
So he has to be replaced

(Ch)
You've got the gig no need to vote
Don't worry you can't play a note
Just hang it round your neck and fake it man!
Buy yourself a bass and join the band
Buy yourself a bass and join the band
Buy yourself a bass and join the band

© Philip Jones.

[Mystic Dreamer]

Kind of demeaning to bass players isn't it?

I actually bought a bass guitar and started writing bass lines for my songs.  It's no easy task if you want it to be anything more than just boring long-tone root notes or simple arpeggios.  I've really come to appreciate bass players and how they can give solid support to the rest of the band.

In any case, I'm not meaning to bash your song.  But if you sing it in public you better hope there's no bass players in the audience or you might find rotten eggs landing on your face. 

"Don't worry you can't play a note
Just stare down at the frets and move your hands"

Oh, how I wish it were that easy!

[PeeJay]

Hi Mystic,

A friend of mine - who was a drummer in a band - once said to me 'why don't you get/buy a bass and join the band' after their bass player had left or been dumped. When i replied that i didn't know how to play bass he replied that it didn't matter.

So you can dismount from that high horse your straddling. :-)

Cheers,

Phil.

[S.T.C]

And there you have it

[Mystic Dreamer]

Never argue with a drummer unless you want to get beat in the head with sticks. 

[PeeJay]

The narrator here is the drummer. He's been tasked with finding a new bass player. The 'stars' of the band i.e. the singer and guitarist are uninterested. The singer's only concern is that none of his limelight is stolen. Hence there's 'no need to vote'. The drummer can sort it out and whatever he decides is fine with them. The changing third lines in the chorus are his various attempts to coax the guy to join the band ending with the exclamation to 'just fake it'!

It's not the same when you have to explain it!

[Mystic Dreamer]

It's not the same when you have to explain it!

Ok, I get it now.  It's really a song that is trashing the rest of the band by suggesting that it won't matter if they have a bad bassist since they already suck anyway. 

Maybe when I hear it actually being sung it will make more sense.

I look forward to hearing the finished song.

By the way, as a beginning bassist I actually wouldn't mind playing in a band where they would be happy if all I did was play root notes so as not to steal the limelight.  At least it would be live practice for me. That's more than I get now.

[PeeJay]

No, you don't get it. That's the point. But let's have one more go.

This is about band dynamics. It is well known - to most people at least - that the singer and lead guitarist get most of the limelight. While the drummer and bassist are seen as side men. Are you with me so far?

If you look at bands like Clash and Sex Pistols their bassists were chosen more for their look than their playing ability. Indeed Paul Simonon of the Clash couldn't play even when they were famous. And Sid Vicious was a complete waste of space whichever way you look at it.

Yours hopefully,

Phil.

[Mystic Dreamer]

My sincerest apologies.  I'm sure the song has a legitimate niche in the world of music.  You'll have to forgive me for responding with a perception that is not in harmony with global reality.  I'm sure it will be well received among those in the know. 

[Mystic Dreamer]

I just want to add to my apology a little personal background.  You just happened to post these lyrics at a time when I am focusing on adding interesting bass lines to my songs.  So my appreciation of a good solid bassist who can really support the vocalist and set them off was on the top of my mind.  So to see lyrics suggesting that anyone can just "fake it" when they have no clue what they are doing seemed rather ludicrous to me from my current state of mind.

I wasn't thinking about what might actually be happening in the real world of music.

[seriousfun]

Btw, as a general rule bassists dont play chords, if they do the chords sound very muddy. You may like to edit verse 3 to reflect this.

I wonder if I should write a lyric about a tone deaf drummer, after all they dont need to know anything about melody or harmonics

[Jambrains]

Being a bass player myself, albeit not a very good one, I can probably get away with this:

What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a bassist?
The vacuum cleaner has to be plugged in to suck.

 

Oh, and btw, I liked the lyrics, love to hear the song!

[PeeJay]

Hi STC, Mystic, Allan and Jambrains,

Thanks for reading and commenting.

As for bass guitar chords i did a search on Altavista - no not really it was Google - and discovered that they do exist. Since the word 'chord' rhymes with the word 'aboard' in it went!

Cheers,

Phil.

[Paulski]

Hi Phil

I loved this. Having been in a band it makes perfect sense to me and I've seen/lived the dynamic you describe. We used to have an evolutionary chart that showed:

lead singer/musician
keyboardist
guitarist
bassist
drummer
roadie
roadie's girl friend
bar-fly

Now before anyone gets all insulted I've had to learn a bit of bass/drums to help me record and it is harder than it looks! For suggs on the lyrics not much to say maybe:

He bags all the chicks
While Billy boy's the axeman
Riffing sweet electric licks

I think the "chords" reference is OK - you should know what chord is being played in order to play the right note.

Nice work!
Paul

[PeeJay]

Hi Paul,

Yeah chicks and licks sounds like a perfect combination. Make a good title for the autobiography of a guitarist's life on the road too!

I see i'm bottom of that evolutionary chart. The only way is up!

Cheers,

Phil.