[Paulski]

Hi guys
This one is a bit bluesy. I have some music that fits this.
Any advice/comments are welcome
thx
Paul

Wrappin' My Heart in your Love
Copyright © 2014 Tennyson Road Music

{ch}
I'm wrappin' my heart in your love
It's breakin' apart, but I'm tapin' it up
The pain is too sharp,
So I'm wrappin' my heart in your love

{vs}
I promised myself I'd never allow
A lover to come too close to my soul
But I'm breakin' that vow
And I'm wrappin' my heart in your love

I'm wrappin' my heart in your love
It's breakin' apart, but I'm tapin' it shut
This pain is too sharp,
So I'm wrappin' my heart in your love

{br}
Cold winters - they blow
Dark nights take their toll
But your warmth helps me stay
In the light of the day

My love was all gone, my heart was a stone
Alone on the ground, when you came around
So cold and so rough
But you covered me up with your love

{solo}

I'm wrappin' my heart in your love
It's breakin' apart, but I'm changin' my luck
This pain is too hard,
So I'm wrappin' my heart in your love

This pain is too much,
So I'm wrappin' my heart in your love

[Erik Baker]

I love this song. I would not change anything.

[JakePage]

I instantly got a melody in my head when reading it, your good at doing that! its short, but I don't think it needs any more, as what you have already all seems significant and anything else could maybe be deemed filler.

Great little chorus, with a catchy hook that you've repeated throughout. The only part that I personally think could be altered is  'Another to dwell so close to my soul'. it makes good sense but to me didn't really fit with the rest of the verse in terms of potential sound. But then again if you already have the music for it, then I understand that it probably sounds right whereas just through reading you cant really get the flow and rhythm, which is a common problem...

Honestly then, I'd agree with Erik in that its really great as it is and I wouldn't change a thing.
Would love to hear the music for it, is that just instrumental or do you have the vocal melody as well?

Anyway, quality lyrics mate, good luck with this, always enjoy reading your songs!

Jake

[stavcoby]

nice lyrics

Could hear a country singers twang to it, in my own mind.

depending on vocal phrasing you use

"my love was all gone, my heart was a (tomb)-----maybe??? IDK haha

great work

[Paulski]

Great little chorus, with a catchy hook that you've repeated throughout. The only part that I personally think could be altered is  'Another to dwell so close to my soul'. it makes good sense but to me didn't really fit with the rest of the verse in terms of potential sound. But then again if you already have the music for it, then I understand that it probably sounds right whereas just through reading you cant really get the flow and rhythm, which is a common problem...

Hi Jake
So nice to hear you say those kind things about my lyrics. I agree that line doesn't quite gel - I wonder if it's the internal rhyme seems forced self/dwell or maybe "dwelling" doesn't sound very committed. Anyway I'm changing it to "A lover to come too close to my soul" - sometimes simpler is better even if you lose a rhyme.
Thanks for the help on this!
Paul

[Paulski]

I love this song. I would not change anything.

Hi Erik
Thanks for the +tive feedback - really means a lot.
Paul

[Paulski]

nice lyrics

Could hear a country singers twang to it, in my own mind.

depending on vocal phrasing you use

"my love was all gone, my heart was a (tomb)-----maybe??? IDK haha

great work

Thanks stavcoby. I have an R&B ballad partially written for this (along the lines of "Fooled Around and Fell in Love"), but I suppose country could work too. I don't know about "tomb" though hehe
Thanks again
Paul

[Nellie]

Wow, chorus is just sooo good! I honestly love it, it gives me this Ed Sheeran - esque vibe which is great in my opinion! The whole song is just amazing! You have some great lines in there, but chorus has to be my fav part! I also think this verse is brilliant!
''I promised myself I'd never allow
A lover to come too close to my soul
But I'm breakin' that vow
And I'm wrappin' my heart in your love''
I wouldn't change anything, I love it too much haha. Anyway.. Well done!!

[benjo]

 hi paul

 yeah instantly i liked this
 and i also got a feel for the music in my head
 
 the only nit i had was my confusion as to who's love
 you were wrapping your heart in,
 and who broke your heart, it didn't seem to tell the reader
 the reason for the heart break
 that was something i missed from the read

 i think it might need a little bit of that clearing up
 although it could be me and how i've read it

  GOOD LUCK THOUGH PAUL, BRING ON THE MUSIC PLEASE

                                         tony...

[Paulski]

Wow, chorus is just sooo good! I honestly love it, it gives me this Ed Sheeran - esque vibe which is great in my opinion! The whole song is just amazing! You have some great lines in there, but chorus has to be my fav part! I also think this verse is brilliant!
''I promised myself I'd never allow
A lover to come too close to my soul
But I'm breakin' that vow
And I'm wrappin' my heart in your love''
I wouldn't change anything, I love it too much haha. Anyway.. Well done!!

Hi Nellie
Thanks for saying those nice things! But does the world really need another love song?
I think it does!
Paul

[Paulski]

 hi paul

 yeah instantly i liked this
 and i also got a feel for the music in my head
 
 the only nit i had was my confusion as to who's love
 you were wrapping your heart in,
 and who broke your heart, it didn't seem to tell the reader
 the reason for the heart break
 that was something i missed from the read

 i think it might need a little bit of that clearing up
 although it could be me and how i've read it

  GOOD LUCK THOUGH PAUL, BRING ON THE MUSIC PLEASE

                                         tony...

Hi Tony - always great to get your perspective. Yeah I hear you about missing details. I think it's because of that, you can even get a religious interpretation - not that I intended that.. I'm kind of hoping that the lead guitar will fill in those gaps but if not I guess I'll rework the lyrics.
Thanks!
Paul

[benjo]

 HEY PAUL

 i know by the time this is put to music
 it will be spot on, its just how you are

 nice write bud

             tony

[EpiphoneEpiphany]

hey

nice phrase "wrappin my heart in your love"
fits a blues song perfectly I think

I can't really think of anything that needs changing

nice write

EE

[Dutchbeat]

lyrics look very good, looks like they have a good flow and pace, if that makes any sense

the only thing i find difficult is to understand that line: i am wrappin my heart in your love

sounds good, but sounds a bit difficult to me  But hey, i am Dutch 

but cool lyrics once again, Paulski

[Paulski]

hey

nice phrase "wrappin my heart in your love"
fits a blues song perfectly I think

I can't really think of anything that needs changing

nice write

EE

Thanks for the kind remarks EE. Next challenge is to record it.
cheers
Paul