[Saeed AlSuri]

since I promised my next post will be instrumental .. I'm posting my new song in lyrics until next week I'll post the audio ..

this is the lyrics of my new English song .. just finished recording the guitars .. so by next week it'll be ready ..

I think the lyrics speaks for itself .. it about me being a retired man .. not much to say .. but shot version of my life ..

song title : Retired Man  .. 14/5/2013


I live a simple life and there is nothing to do ..
I getup in the morning and there's no where to show ..

I'm a retired man .. I'm a retired man ..

The children in the morning are at the school ..
I stay in bed and that's kind a cool ..

I'm a retired man .. I'm a retired man ..

I spend my time all alone ..
Thinking nothing of it like every one ..
I meet my friends on the Net ..
And I don't have a Pet ..

I'm a retired man .. I'm a retired man ..

Every one is busy with his work it shows ..
I never bother really and you know  ..

I'm a retired man .. I'm a retired man ..

Every one is working hard to make ends meet ..
While I'm relaxing in home and hanging my feet ..

I'm a retired man .. I'm a retired man ..

I see my life .. differently ..
Now that I have time ..I'm so free ..
I can do many things with my time
I'm happy that I'm so free ..

I'm a retired man .. I'm a retired man ..

I live a simple life and there is nothing to do ..
I getup in morning and there's no where to go ..

I'm a retired man .. I'm a retired man ..

Easy life and a simple life is good for me ..
I live a happy life that make's me free ..

I'm a retired man .. I'm a retired man ..

Cheers

[GTB]

Hi Saeed, first of all I am very envious as I wish I could retire and do music all the time :-)

As a snapshot of retired life I think your song works well, but I'm hearing 2 slightly conflicting messages.  On one hand it says "nothing to do - nowhere to go" but later it it says "...good for me ... a happy life that makes me free"; it's like saying you're a bit lost now but that's much better?  Maybe this is what you intended, or perhaps when you sing it you'll make "nothing to do ... nowhere to go" sound like something you're rejoicing in? (i.e. 'yippee I don't HAVE to do anything or go anywhere').  Hope I'm making sense !

Anyway, it's a good song with a lovely 'gentle' feel about it and I'm sure lots of people will relate to it, retired or not.  I look forward to hearing it :-)
best regards, Graham

[Jess]

I like the topic, I've never really seen any lyrics on this theme before, however I'm not going to lie, some of the rhyming a very cheesy: school and cool, net and pet and me it just seems like a jungle of monosyllabic words.
I think this is a good foundation for a song- the topic is good, the main line about being a retired man is relatable (well not for me personally) and blunt and the ideas are there, I just think everything needs to be expanded and explained.
Although, I like the lines about making ends meet and hanging feet.

[Saeed AlSuri]

Thanks Graham ..
 I'm glade you liked the song .. well nothing to do with job and duty .. but not that obvious in the word .. and being previous employ in National TV long hours and hard shooting and montage schedules and back home at 5 or 6 in the morning is a bet tiring after a while .. and nowhere to go is reporting to the office in that since but .. couldn't put it in the song .. too specific ..

the song is in rock n roll format .. fast wordings in a line .. 

Thanks Jess .. about cheesy rhyme the problem is that is really true .. they do go to school and I have free time to stay in bed tell 11:30 .. so its nice .. but as you know nice do not rhyme with school .. but cool does .. and it's really cool .. no question about it .. 

I found that going in details of one life is a bit long and boring nobody like spilling his guts in a song .. maybe not everybody  but many .. and I hate long songs .. I like 3 ish minute songs .. 

I hope someone will spill his guts and take about his retirement in a song .. that'll be fun ..

cheers guys thank you again

Saeed

[ShinyThang]

Gotta say I hadn't noticed this post but the song popped up on my Souncloud stream and I was blown away! Upbeat, positive, fun, clever and such lovely guitar work! ...  Honestly right up there with the best examples of why this forum is such a great place to hangout ...

[Saeed AlSuri]

I'm really flattered .. 

thank you very much for the nice words and I'm really happy you liked it ShinyThang ..


Cheers ..

[Peppermint]

Nice song,

Although i don't want to think about retirement
Still got a couple of years left to go yet.

But no seriously it sounds like it could be made into a really decent song.

[Saeed AlSuri]

Thanks Peppermint ..

I think this song needs a fast mouth which can sing the words ..

I don't have that kind of speed in my mouth .. 

Cheers

[crystalsuzy]

Hi Saeed...I also listened to this on soundcloud before seeing the lyrics it on this sight...I think it's really good...right up there with your other amazing creations ...I found the lyrics to be quite funny in places and hearing them sung in the song is much different then just reading them...the whole song fits together really well and of course the guitar playing is amazing

[Saeed AlSuri]

Thank you very much crystalsuzy ..

I think I had in mind making it funny .. .. Seeing everybody running to make ends meet ..

Well not in a bad way of course ..

Thank you again crystalsuzy ..

Cheers ..

[Saeed AlSuri]

Hi guys ...

well .. I want to ask if its time for me to post the song on the finished page ??

or is it not necessary since its been heard by the soundcloud guys .. 

or I just post it and forget about the mate ??

many options ha ??

please advice .. thank you..

cheers ..

[benjo]

 retired man,
 you sound like your enjoying retirement
 thought this was clever
 it reminded me of bruno mars the lazy song
 just say what you feel,   nice...

[Saeed AlSuri]

Hi benjo ..

I am enjoying it .. I have so much time I can write songs with .. chat with my friends on Facebook .. write to this great forum .. retierment is a blessing ..

thank you and cheers ..