[Vintage54]

           Hey Arkwright!
              Its your song man, tweak it all you like. I know you didnt want the opening couplet removed, thats why i left them in. Not trying to rewrite your song man, but these are the two lines i would have used had it been mine to mess with. Not saying they are better than yours, but maybe they fit the others i wrote better.
                The straights and the leaners
                The doers and dreamers
                The lighthearted
                And heavy of soul  etc.....

[Paulski]

         
         Alright arkwright!
               Not sure the eight is absolutely neccessary, but heres my contribution, for what its worth.
         
               Evil eyed eyed jealousy
               The stench of infidelity
               The lighthearted
               And heavy of soul
               Some just getting started
               Some now departed
               Its taken the weight
               Of them all.

Hey Vintage...

Thanks for your contribution. I actually really like what you've done and would like to use it with a couple of monor tweaks if that's ok with you?

Or "It's felt the weight of them all" - nothing like design-by-committee!

[Arkwright]

           Hey Arkwright!
              Its your song man, tweak it all you like. I know you didnt want the opening couplet removed, thats why i left them in. Not trying to rewrite your song man, but these are the two lines i would have used had it been mine to mess with. Not saying they are better than yours, but maybe they fit the others i wrote better.
                The straights and the leaners
                The doers and dreamers
                The lighthearted
                And heavy of soul  etc.....

Ok I'm sick of procrastinating.... I've decided to abandon the two lines I wanted to keep so badly for the good of the song. I really like your suggestion Vintage so going to go with that with a couple of minor tweaks.

The straights and the leaners
The doers and dreamers
The lighthearted
And heavy of soul
Some just getting started
Many now departed
It’s felt the weight
Of all who come to call

Thanks for your help guys.

Time to post in 'collaborations'

[Marrianna]

Ooooh - have just come back to this to retrieve the lyrics for Works In Progress but on rereading, it could be you have finished with songs on here? I have posted the music I wrote with your words and hope you will let me know if you  wanted to progress the work any further?

Hope you are well, Arkwright.

Marrianna     https://soundcloud.com/Ruthmari

P.S. There was the uptempo version first which included the middle 8 with words contributed by Vintage54 and Paulski (I think). That was good fun to do as well. 

[diademgrove]

Hi Arkwright,

shame you're given up writing lyrics, you have a very good turn of phrase.

Here's my version of your middle 8, I tried to keep as much of the original as possible as I quite liked it.

Evil eyed jealousy
Stench of infidelity
Scent of inhumanity
This old bench has seen it all
State of sweet serenity
Quaint and simple pleasantry
A mirror for your destiny
This old bench issues its call

Take the suggestions or leave them.

A great set of lyrics.
Keith

[Arkwright]

Ooooh - have just come back to this to retrieve the lyrics for Works In Progress but on rereading, it could be you have finished with songs on here? I have posted the music I wrote with your words and hope you will let me know if you  wanted to progress the work any further?

Hope you are well, Arkwright.

Marrianna     https://soundcloud.com/Ruthmari

P.S. There was the uptempo version first which included the middle 8 with words contributed by Vintage54 and Paulski (I think). That was good fun to do as well. 

Hi Marrianna

I certainly have finished with the lyric writing (well for the time being anyway) as I've now moved on to another one of my bucket list projects. I'm more than happy with your composition and have added it to my digital legacy folder for posterity.

Please feel free to do whatever you wish with the song. I'm not looking for any rights to the material and I'm more than happy for you to upload it/distribute it anyway you please.

Many thanks again for taking the time to work on the song and all the very best for the future.

Steve

[Arkwright]

Hi Arkwright,

shame you're given up writing lyrics, you have a very good turn of phrase.

Here's my version of your middle 8, I tried to keep as much of the original as possible as I quite liked it.

Evil eyed jealousy
Stench of infidelity
Scent of inhumanity
This old bench has seen it all
State of sweet serenity
Quaint and simple pleasantry
A mirror for your destiny
This old bench issues its call

Take the suggestions or leave them.

A great set of lyrics.
Keith

Hey Keith, thanks for your contribution...

I like the fact you've managed to incorporate my original idea fo a middle 8 and if it's ok with you, I'll add it to my lyrics as an optional middle 8 should anyone in the future wish to add some music to them.

Cheers
Steve

[Marrianna]

Arkwright

Hi Steve

   It is good to see your reply and to know you are well.

I rerecorded your lyrics without the blip which caused a pitch problem. I have uploaded it on Soundcloud. It is the version without the Middle 8 as it is 5 mins as it is. The uptempo included the Middle 8.
I could still see it performed on stage with dancers and characters. It would be good, I think.

And  ... the plumber liked it. He was working and listening at the same time.

Good luck with your new project!

Marrianna                        

P.S. You have rights to the lyrics! not me. This is a completed song. If I were to add my own different words to the music that would be another song and separate to This Old Bench. If I did anything with your lyrics and my music, I would tell you because that is the right thing to do. Thankyou for all your kind consideration though conveyed in your message.  Marrianna.

[diademgrove]

Hi Steve,

I have no problem with you keeping my suggestions, the majority of the lyrics are yours, and the idea definitely was.

Good luck with your other projects,

Keith