Hi Veance,
This looks like a lyric about a young man courting a young woman whose father thinks he's not good enough for her. Did I get that right?
Sometimes, when a person is writing in a "second language" (like you, here, writing in English, which is not your first language), you end up with unusual phrasing. That isn't always bad; sometimes it's unique. I'm trying to decide about "someone who fits the shoe", which you use a couple times. We often say "...fits the bill" or "...walk in someone else's shoes", but in this case it might work the way you wrote it. Like, the dad has already decided on the "shoes" and he knows the young man doesn't fit them. Which means he doesn't meet the dad's expectations for an appropriate suitor for his daughter.
I'll mention a couple things...like the first line: "Hey kid, can I, uhm, give you some friendly advice". Now this dad I see as assertive and someone who knows his mind. I don't see him as someone who would sound hesitant about giving advice to a suitor of his daughter's, one he doesn't like. So I would make that more like:
"Hey, kid, let me give you some friendly advice"
There he's being forthright, kind of in the young man's face, even, telling him what he thinks. Not in a mean way, but in a definite way. That's how I interpret what you're trying to do, anyway.
With that in mind, I tried some options for the first two verses that would get that across, maybe, and came up with this:
Hey, kid, let me give you some friendly advice
I know you like my daughter; it comes as no surprise
And I think you're an honest and friendly guy
But you're not the one for her
She needs a man, sophisticated and cool
Who, no matter what happens, always knows what to do
And I really have to tell you, that guy's not you
Move on, boy, you're not the one for her
Now, that's quite a bit different from what you wrote, and it probably isn't the way you want to tell your story, but maybe you'll get some helpful ideas from it. Feel free to use anything that works for you. Or just ignore me altogether if I'm totally missing the mark.
You'll probably get some good ideas from other forum members, as well. I hope you get it whipped into shape the way you want it!
Vicki