The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Paulski on June 07, 2020, 03:36:18 PM
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A depressing piano ballad for your listening enjoyment :D
Think I'll leave this as just piano/vocal but what do you think?
Brave Face (https://soundcloud.com/paulcanuck/brave-face)
When I go to bed in the evenin'
And the darkness fills the room
I'm haunted by these feelings of being alone
They say "Put one foot 'front of the other"
They say that "Time will heal the wounds"
But it's been so long now I wonder if that's gonna do
'Cause when you lose someone so precious
When you lose someone so dear
The aching and the longing
Never seem to disappear
I put a brave face on in the morning
People talk to it all day
And if they notice anything wrong they just don't say
When you lose someone so precious
When you lose someone so dear
The aching and the longing
Never seem to disappear
So I'll put my brave face on in the morning
Let people talk to it all day
And if they notice anything wrong I hope they won't say..
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This is a beautiful song. Your voice is perfect for a ballad like this...it carries the emotion of the song in a bit of that high lonesome style. Wonderful playing as well.
I have to say that I really could hear some other instrumentation coming in at 1:10. I don't know what other instruments you favor but drums and bass with maybe a sustaining electric guitar or even some strings if that is more your style.
If you were to go that route you might even consider pulling the other instruments out at 2:08 and bookending the song as a piano ballad.
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Fabulous 1 + 1 @Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) Vocals are exceptional and super grand piano sound. It's a weepy for sure. Absolutely nothing else required IMO
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This is a lovely, heartfelt song @Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) beautifully played and sung.. Obviously I'm a sucker for a piano ballad anyways... well and a sad song too.. so this is right up all my streets.. It's a very poignant and real representation of the subject matter..
Fabulous!
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@Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) - Really liked this, especially the way you resisted adding any instruments, inspiring. superb Elton John phrasing, and emotion that came through most powerfully.
Excellent work, lovely song indeed. Was it recorded in the Garage?
Rich
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Fantastic, Paul.
I think your vocal sounds better than ever here.
Love the simplicity of it...I wouldn't change a thing.
I was relieved to see that the soundcloud picture wasn't a recently-unearthed photo of Justin Trudeau dressed/redded up as Hiawatha in a school play :)
I could just imagine you wandering over to a grand piano in the lobby of some swanky big city hotel when nobody's looking...and start playing this. Two hours later, there's a queue around the block and the manager is offering you a residency and free accommodation in the penthouse suite whenever you're in town.
I wish.
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I'd leave this alone my friend, you've done such a good job there is no way to improve this song.. :)
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Hey Paulski - lovely ballad indeed! You could quite happily go with it as it is. For a more "commercial" feel, you could have a gentle low pad coming in around 1'09" and high pad around 1'46", returning back to the 1+1 for the final chorus. if done in an unobvious way I think that's what I would try, to support the feel of those sections. But not really because the song shouts out for it, more because that's what I tend to hear around...
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Thanks to everyone for taking the time to listen and comment (and to anyone who only listened!)
@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611) - thanks for the kind words. Good suggs on additional instruments if I decide to do it. ;D
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) cheers John - always good to get a thumbs up from you ;D BTW - that's the Easykeys grand piano - my go-to keyboard these days. ;D
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) - thanks Karen - nice to hear from another pianist! Glad it didn't depress you too much - always a risk ;D
@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) thanks Rich - full disclosure: I entered this in a competition where the rules stated "One vocal and one instrument". I'm sure I'll be back here complaining about how I finished last and how unfair this cruel world truly is. ;D
@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) cheers Paul - glad to hear you liked the simplicity :D I was going to put Trudeau's face on SC but I was afraid it would spoil the mood :D Your hotel piano story reminded me of the time I was waiting for my flight in O'hare airport Chicago. They had a grand piano in an open area and I did sit down to tickle a few keys. Needless to say the expected adoring crowd did NOT materialize. I just got some dirty looks from other travelers thinking "He's not supposed to be playing that piano!" :D :D
@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) Thanks Kev!
@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) cheers Adam. Now, to show my complete ignorance, I have to ask just what a "pad" is? Do you mean a synth? And with so many button and knobs on any synth I've ever had the misfortune of screwing up - what would be the correct settings? Not trying to be facetious here - I really am that inept when it comes to synths. :-[
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@Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) yeah, a sustaining synth sound of some kind, could be strings (or whatever sound you wanted). I like strings and they don’t have to sound too cliched if not too prominent. Maybe worth a try at least!
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Great song Paul. Actually found the music strangely uplifting..beautifully sung & played. I think it sounds great as it is but its your call.
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@Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241)
Hi Paul, a lovely rendition of an emotional song and topic. Beautifully delivered vocally and instrumentally. I think the pitch meter on your DAW is wrong...... ;). I would probably have been tempted to adding bass and strings at some stage, but I think it sounds great as it is.
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie
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I hear that voice again! Oops, sorry, that was Peter Gabriel! :o
Really like this, sounds a little more "modern" compared to some of your other stuff. Don't get me wrong, they are all great and pay homage to a time when songs were crafted in a different way than today. Did that make any sense? Never mind :D
Fab vocals and sometimes that and a piano is all it takes.
Bravo!
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Ah, the fluttering Maple Leaf brand of guaranteed quality songwriting is back up the pole! Others have said it all as I came to this a little late. It's very tempting to add instruments as this can cover a lack of new ideas in the song but they are not needed here. Great singing and playing, beautiful song. Enough said.
M
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Hi @paulski, a gorgeously simple song that tells an emotional back story in a very honest yet touching way. The piano sounds great and the little piano interlude is enough instrumental interest for me.
I guess you could dress it up a bit, but you have a quality song there and it wouldn't make the core of it sound much better in my view. Some songs reach out to us when a quality singer and the relaxed playing of someone who knows what they're doing at the keys combine to pull us in. Hook, line and sinker, you got me! ;)
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Hi Paul,
Not my genre to be honest but it is a really nice ballad, the piano is perfect.
I just wish I could sing as well as you!
Cheers
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Hmmmm @PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253)
Your song through your so warm voice has moved me... It's a very sad ballade... Perfect to let emotions go out and look through the window how life continues walking.
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@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535) - cheers for listening and the kind remarks. Great user name BTW :D
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) - thanks Jamie - I'm still hearing "pitchyness" but glad you didn't notice too many spots :D Thanks for the nice comments.
@Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) - cheers Johan means a lot coming from your talented self :D Maybe there's hope for me yet getting into modern music :D
@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) - thanks Alan always good to get a thumbs up from you. Glad to hear it works as a 1+1 too.
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) - cheers Michael - nice to hear it connected to you. And I appreciate the kind comment on the piano solo.
@PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588) - thanks Pete - glad you liked it despite not being your genre - those are the hardest listeners to please :D I've heard you sing man and you're no slouch yourself! :D
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) - cheers mora - happy that you liked it - thanks for listening!
Hope I didn't miss anyone - if I did, thanks to that guy and my abject apologies for missing his/her comment :D
Paul
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I think the Jackson Brown reference is spot on.
Hi Paul..............good song. Solid songwriting. But I have to give you a back atchya........lost loves and break up songs, both, have had a long history in songwriting. All we can do is to try to give it a new twist.
Good luck...........it is a good one....no doubt!!
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@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) cheer Tom Yep finding fresh lyrics is tricky business for sure. Appreciate the positive feedback ;D
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Lovely rich piano to support a crystal clear vocal. The song as ever, is crafted. A delicate beauty!
Paul