[PeeJay]

Traffic Jam:
What a fine way to start the day
Going nowhere on the road to rage
It’s just a sea of animosity
Like a stationary tsunami.

(Chorus)
Wham bam it’s a traffic jam
Slow cooking in this old tin can
Horns are honking like the devil’s band
Another journey headed down the pan.

Seek a smile while I scan the dial
Angry faces stretch for miles and miles
Leonard Cohen sings a tale of woe
It’s not helping as the tension grows.

(Chorus)
Wham bam it’s a traffic jam
Slow cooking in this old tin can
Horns are honking like the devil’s band
Another journey headed down the pan.

(Bridge)
I close my eyes
And drift away
I’m on the beach
In Saint Tropez
And while I pose
Then take a swim
Some so and so
Is cutting in!

(Chorus)
Wham bam it’s a traffic jam
Slow cooking in this old tin can
Horns are honking like the devil’s band
Another journey headed down the pan.

Same story up and down the land
Wham bam it’s a traffic jam.

© Philip Jones 2013.

[BooBoo]

I really like the chorus, quite catchy. The comparisons to traffic jam at good!

[Jess]

Naturally, there are so many positives here, loving all the traffic comparisons and the chorus is indescribably pop-y, so I'll give you an improvement instead I think you should change the first two lines of the first verse, if I'm being honest and blunt, because I think they're too similar to the chorus- they use the same rhyme and almost same syllable count. That's the only improvement I could find. I loved the rest of it...especially 'stationary tsunami'

[PeeJay]

Hi BooBoo,

Thanks for that. I was aiming for a punchy approach with this.

Hi Jess,

Thank you ma'am. You are right about those 'traffic jams' being a bit gridlocked so i've changed the opening lines.

Cheers both, Phil.

[Sing4me88]

Very clever indeed. The traffic jam hook is worked well throughout and the chorus is dead catchy. Although the song is about the stress of a traffic jam for some out reason IMO it would suit a more laid back approach a bit like Poalo Nutini 'Coming up easy' or -10 out of 10'. I just get that kinda vibe of this one.

[PeeJay]

Hi Sing4me,

Thanks for that.

Yeah it's full on in the verses and chorus and a little dreamy bit at the bridge where he gets a little light relief before being jolted back to reality!

Cheers, Phil.

[Saeed AlSuri]

Love the subject .. great Idea to write a song about traffic jams .. something I never thought about .. maybe I'll write a song about air traffic jams .. during holidays ..

Great chorus .. wham bam thing is great .. 

now let's wait for the music to make it through the traffic jam ...   

Cheers ..

[PeeJay]

Hi Saeed,

Thanks for that.

A traffice jam on the flight path. Now that would be something - wham bam thanks Pan Am!

Cheers, Phil.

[benjo]

hi peejay,

great topic it's nice to read something like this as it so often happens these days
I really enjoyed reading,      if there was anything that stuck out a little was
the two last lines in the first verse I found it hard to imagine a stationary tsunami
but that's prob just me great write mate tony...



It’s just a sea of animosity
Like a stationary tsunami.




 

[PeeJay]

Hi Tony,

I was trying to describe the chaotic scene. Like the aftermath of a tsunami where cars get washed away with everything else in it's path. I may have laid it on a bit thick although i thought it fitted well with the sea of cars - and the frustration of the people inside them building up - animosity.


I went on a bit there!

Cheers,
Phil.

[benjo]

hi peejay,

yeah I had a discussion about that lyric with my wife and son and yes you do put it very well
I just had in my head the onslaught of a tsunami coming in from the sea,
but yes I tip my hat to you the way they explained it to me I get it,
well done mate tony...

[KEVIN B]

hey pee jay,

 what a great subject to write about, think we can all relate to this !!

love the bridge man, great rhymes, and a good flow to it,

would love to hear this, i'm getting a sort of maroon 5, pay phone feel to it !

great song !!!

[PeeJay]

Hi Tony,

I think it just about works!

Hi Kevin,

Thanks for that.

I'm no musician though!

Cheers,

Phil.

[eeyunopper]

This is great... Love it..

[PeeJay]

Hi,

Thanks for that.

Cheers,

Phil.