[rightly]

excellent writing
the lyrics, the whole groove.

It struck me while listening
that it might be about a big bro little bro sort of thing.

Definitely worth getting a better quality recording!!

Thanks for sharing!

[polite_THINGS]

thats so awesome im really glad you liked it!
theres another older track on my channel if you wanted to check that out as well
let me know what you think if you do

I love this - reminds me of Nirvana. Through the lyrical angst you had some great images that got to me - "I’ll spend an evening with all of the ghosts/ rattle their bones and hear what they like the most about me", "Treating your mind like a habit to break" Wow!

Really enjoyed your song and would love to hear more

[polite_THINGS]

im glad you liked it and thanks for taking the time to respond!
i definitely agree with what everybodys said about it, im going to have to make a list for when i go to re-do it. kind of want to work on something new until then though, making that turned my brain to soup and i was sick of looking at it, haha

and ive never heard of that band before but ill have to check them out
thanks for the feedback, it is all cherished

Really enjoyed that gritty sound and the lyrics are great...and nicely fitted.

As has been said needs the chorus to explode much more...I'd have it after verse two as well...just when it needs to kick off somewhere else in my opinion...it'd be great!

Intro not too long for me. This has got that fuzzy drive that I like to get grooving on a bit before the vocal comes in like Baby Baby by The Vibrators (30 seconds)...so just fine like it is.

Get that chorus sorted....a bit of a better mix, and this'll be a cracking listen.

[polite_THINGS]

thank you thank you, i put a lot into the writing and i appreciate that very much
the brother thing is mostly a metaphor, meaning society is like your parents, asking you why you cant be more like your "brother"? Perhaps this "brother" is a neighbor with a wife, kids, a huge tv and 2 cars for example. Telling you what to do, telling you what religion is the best one, telling you what to do with your body, etc etc.
But the actual brother thing works as well of course.
thanks for taking the time to listen!

excellent writing
the lyrics, the whole groove.

It struck me while listening
that it might be about a big bro little bro sort of thing.

Definitely worth getting a better quality recording!!

Thanks for sharing!

[Larsen B]

I like this. Great riff, really moves the song along. Good lyrics as well. There's definitely potential there.