The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: digger72 on December 07, 2019, 08:58:22 PM
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Hi All,
I know, it's rare I get to visit these parts these days - been a rubbish 18 months - but i'm really trying to make an effort to get back in to recording, and having time for the things I used to enjoy.
Been working on and off on this for a number of months. Still not 100% happy with the mix at the end of the track; the idea is to build throughout and work to some kind of chaotic crescendo.
It's the usual jolly fayre. Best listened to with a nice bar of chocolate to take the edge off. :D
Hope you're all well.
Thanks for checking out.
Digger
https://soundcloud.com/digger-72/innocence-falls/s-wkyS3
Innocence Falls
Under my skin I feel it burns
I’m on my knees and I’m crawling again
It won’t leave me alone
Give me the high where time stands still
I’m in the dirt but I’m floating again
Such a long way down
People are weak
And people will break
People will heal
But I don’t mend
I’ll never mend
Innocence falls
There’s no hope to hold
Weakness leads me on
Out of control
I will always love you
But I’m weighed down with time
I will always love you
But when she sings
She’s mine
I fall
Standing on the edge of a distant dream
I had it all, I don’t want it again
I’m feeling so tired
Counting down the days till I fade out
Bury me here give me peace again
I can call it home
I will always love you
But I’m weighed down with time
I will always love you
But when she sings
She’s mine
I fall
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Well this is a cheery number innit??😆 mix sounds good to me on my Apple pods mate. It’s brilliantly sung as always. Interesting lyrics. Good stuff! I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having a shit time mate....only consolation is that it may give you some good material to write about?🤷🏼♂️🎶👊🏻🎶😄🍻
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Nice to hear a new song from you Digger :) Sounds like you've been having similar RL trials as me :'(
I love this track :-* I think it's one of my favs of yours, and even though your stuff is on the dark side, I dig it (must identify with my dark side) ::)
Katja's vocals sound amazing, as always, but it sounds like you've used a different effect on them, and I'd be interested in knowing what it is ;)
The backing track is amazing and I love the way you slowly build to the end without it being too overpowering. Beautifully done 8)
The lyrics are compelling and as thought provoking as usual :)
Hang in there my friend and keep trying to write. I find it to be a healing therapy :)
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I love the melody on this track! hauntingly beautiful, Great vocals & production ;)
Very well done! ......Ray
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This is very cool. I'm allergic to chocolate and haven't had any for over 20 years...so listened without. It's a great song...I didn't really get much of a sense of it building although I'm sure it did...possibly even preferred the earlier part with a sparser sound...not sure now...will have to listen again :-)
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Super arrangement. Katja's voice really steals the show - she is something else. Good work and has a sort of Bond feel to it ( that's a compliment btw )
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Hey @digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823) , sorry to hear you’ve been having a crap time…hopefully it will pass… so great to hear new music from you and Katja - I’m such a fan! Love the lyrics to this - like you I tend to be drawn by darker themes and songs.. so this is right up my street. Great production and arrangement and as always Katja’s vocal is captivating. Just fantastic really..
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Hi guys, your usual high quality output, the vocals make me think of Alison Goldfrapp from the Seventh tree/clowns era.Very good guys!
Cheers
Jamie
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Incredibly atmospheric @digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823) and Katja. Breathy vocals and dark and moody synth backing while retaining a lovely melodic quality. Nice when the guitars kick in - Agree with you about building to a chaotic crescendo. I would get into the amp sim, pick the weirdest 3 effects and triple track them with a building drum crescendo :)
Top work guys
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Hi @digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823) - Glad you're getting back into your music Digger man, sorry to hear of you rubbish 18months, must have been awful, hope things brighten up for you.
Listening to it now - building...nice keys...dig the echo on the kick...taking a while to wind up...fuzz gtr and pad synth just appeared...sounds like a 'last track on side 2' song, good one to finish with.
It's well put together, the only thing I could possibly suggest is that you split the song in half put a pre chorus in, maybe a tasty solo of somekind with some powerful stadium drums more keys and a les paul screamin' alonge way, drop it down bung a stop in, and return to the last verse, retaining some of the key motifs from the solo section...
Lovely mixing and delivery digger. Hope this helps.
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Hi Digger - listened a few times now and it works really well - really menacing and moody. I wondered if the synth pads might be a bit too prominent - perhaps when they come in they could be a bit shorter to give some space to the guitars and then fill up the space more towards the finale? Anyhow, sounds really good to me already.
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Nice dreamy opening, nice buildup but the chorus is a bit disappointing. It lacks substance. The wavering voice does not help either.
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Cool song digger and co.
Great vocals and your usual mesmerizing synth work.
I wanted some big drums near the end - but that would likely spoil the mood.. ;D
Seems like it's over too soon even at 4 mins.
More please - glad to hear you haven't lost your touch ;D
Paul
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Wow!! freaking awesome!!! 8) 8) what a fabulous vocal..sent shivers down my spine, if there's a bigger word than awesome I'd use it but I'm pretty thick :P
totally bowled over by this song guys...so..so..so good 8) 8)
best, Kevin :)
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Hi Guys,
Thanks for the feedback - good and bad.
Kind of agree it lacks that bit at the end. Just can't seem to figure out what to put there - but you've given me some ideas to play with.
It's not really a big chorus kind of song - more about mood. (Plus I can't write big choruses without them sounding super cheesy. :D)
Will definitely look at the drums and guitars for the ending; but got to move on and give the ears some song rest.
Thanks again,
Digger
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This is great Digger. It has that Goth, atmospheric magnitude (could imagine it being on a Garbage or Curve album as one of the slowies). It's all been said but your singer has a truly fantastic voice (great control and timbre) and the production is first class. I thought the build was just right, it didn't need to get any bigger... the restraint felt like kind of the point of it. Impressive stuff.
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Hi,
Personally I don't find anything wrong with the mix except a little too high pitched from 3' but I'm not an expert, I can be wrong because I listen to the headphones.
I would add that it is an excellent track whose atmosphere captivated me. Your voice is bewitching and the composition is full of finesse.
The overall sound is good.
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Really like the slow burn on this one,
Very atmospheric and chillingly affectionate.
I didn’t hear any issues with the mix, everything was nice and clear from my pov (I have got blocked ears at the moment though from a cold, so don’t take my word for it)
Yodasdad