The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Cawproductions on February 18, 2018, 09:36:09 PM
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Hi all,
Only been popping in and out of the forum lately and loving the new look and all the fresh tunes thats been added.
We have been busy trying to get this track finished and working on more new material.
Anyway. Honest and constructive feedback is always welcome,
Disclaimer: This is best served at volume 11 with ears cellotaped back for maximum listening pleasure......
Heres our new track by AtticVibes: One way street
Lyrics are pretty simple but shown below
One way street
Verse 1:
We were walking down a one way street
with no way back, then I saw your face
We were walking down a one way street
cut me some slack…its not the time or the place
You’re not for me…I like my women cheap
The kind of company I keep.
Verse 2:
I learned my lesson when I trusted you
Thought we were good, you left me where I stood
I learned my lesson when I trusted you
You didn't treat me ,,,,treat me like you should
You’re not for me…I like my women cheap
The kind of company I keep
Solo…
Verse 3:
I saw through you when you let me down
I never thought that you would come along and cheat on me
I saw through you when you let me down
You're not as cool and classy…..as you pretend to be
I saw through you……..
Copyright: Andy & Mike (AtticVibes/ Cawproductions))
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Hi Guys.
Fab song. Love the groove. The production is absolutely superb, very professional job. The song really gets going in the 2nd verse when you get that dirty honky tonk piano kicking in. In fact the piano transforms this song from a good song into a great one. Awesome guitar solo too.
For my personal tastes, I would have preferred it marginally faster and looser. The problem with such pristine production is that the song loses any sense of dingy, dirty, squalor which i think is conveyed by the lyrics. It's a class song, but would love you to release a "live" version which gets down and dirty and throws caution to the wind.
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Some tasty guitar playing on this one .... reminds me of the Stone Roses crossed with Oasis crossed with the Ramones!
Love the piano too, really good rocker.
Kevin
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This would grace any "driving" or "running" playlist! Guitar and piano solos really make it stand out. The "cheap" line is cool too. For my personal taste a couple more bpm might go well - but depends on what you're going for and had my head bobbing for sure.
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Great song Guys. Love the Groove. Drives along really well. Outstanding vocals and
piano. My only thought was that the lead guitar break sounded a bit 'laboured' and out of place.
There's a little slide guitar you've got going in there, that keeps promising something, but never
comes. I'd be tempted to feature that a bit more, and get rid of the lead break all together. The
piano break is enough I think. The groove is the BIG hook here for me....handle with care ;D ;D
Just my thoughts guys. ::) ::) It's all good.....bound to get em movin. It's a little cracker ;D ;D
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Hi
Brilliant job, in a way it reminds me of the Stone R
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Oops hit the return button.
I'll start again...
Brilliant effort, in a way it reminds me of the Stone Roses mixed with a bit of Country, that'll be the slide guitar in the background, ha!
Loving the honky tonk piano too and the melodic guitar break.
Like this line "You're not as cool and classy…..as you pretend to be"
Best
Robbie :)
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Hi Guys,
Thanks for the great feedback, appreciate it wont be everyone's cup of tea.
Some cool references to bands such as Stone R and Ramones etc and of course...Oasis ;D
It was a bit of a different track for us introducing some slide guitar and piano parts, we have limited playing ability so used a cigar box slide guitar for the slide work.
Thanks again for the listens and comments.
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Yo Andy and the crew.
I really love this. I think you are beginning to find your own style,be comfortable in your musical skin and work with what you got.
The piano break was killer and inspired,I agree with Bin,leave out the guitar,there will be plenty of other times to shine.
The groove is a monster,very George Thorogood in it's feel and devastatingly effective.
Liked and reposted,because it bloody well deserves it. 8)
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Hi guys,excellent vibe and agree with other comments about references! Well played and arranged, vocals just right, nice one!
Cheers
Jamie
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This has got a sweet groove (I listened on 11 ha!), decent vocals. A good tune lads.
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Thanks a lot chaps, some really nice comments there, we really enjoyed making this one, and we're so glad you guys like it.
Cheers, Mikey
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Instantly toe tapping, really great vibe, love the piano.
As PompeyJazz said you could make more use of the Slide guitar, that might go better than the straight axe.
Could the vox be overdriven at some point, it might add some texture?
Nice work.
cpm
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It's raw in a rock n roll/bluesey Madchester kind of way, but the slide guitar certainly adds a difference, and the harmonies a bit of moody polish. Would like to hear live in a boisterous bar. Fun alright!
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My opinion is not very relevant cause Im not a musician but the rules of the Forum say i should comment so here we go: you have nice playing with words “You didn't treat me /treat me like you should”, and a very nice solo! Nice vocal. Congrats
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Brilliant. Manchester in the country. You could film the video in the Peak District :)
Great song Andy, and One Way Street team, with fantastic production - as always. Loved the vibe on this one. Amazing guitars and keys. Will be playing this to the husband in the car tomorrow. Brilliant. cx
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This is down and dirty. I like it.
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Thanks for all the great feedback, and for taking the time to listen, we really appreciate the kind comments
Mikey
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Hi all,
Just echoing what Mikey said, Thanks for all the listens and kind comments.
We are loving this style at the moment so probably you will see more in the future.
Cheers
Andy/Mike
(AtticVibes)
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Hi Andy and Mike,
great song but the guitars could have been a little dirtier for me. They sounded a little clean. Definitely reminds me of Second Coming by the Stone Roses.
Keith
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Thanks Keith, glad you like it.
Cheers, Mikey
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Hi Keith, We love dirty guitars.....next time....
Thanks for the listens dude.
Hi Andy and Mike,
great song but the guitars could have been a little dirtier for me. They sounded a little clean. Definitely reminds me of Second Coming by the Stone Roses.
Keith
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Yeah..nice down and dirty groove, it is what it is..can't find anything to crit so..bye :) :)
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Cool track guys.
Love the rockin' piano of course - good vocals and guitar work as well.
Really like the breaks where the drums stop - good choices there.
Could be less polished/more grungy but works a treat as it is. ;D ;D
Paul
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Thanks guys, its great to get good reviews from people who make such great music themselves.
Cheers, Mikey
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Hi Peeps,
Need more like this - some proper, gritty rock with all the ingredients in place. Loved the combination of lead to one side of the mix and the power chording on the other - beautifully balanced and clear. Fabulous honkytonk piano - man I love this song! What a treat for the ears this is. You're probably too young to know what I'm on about but this reminds me of Free and Bad Company - 2 of my favourite bands.
Best thing I've heard on here in ages.
M
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Thanks Monty,
So glad you like it, I love Free and Bad Co, I'm not as young as you think, and I'm gradually nudging Andy down the true path to rockin' goodness as he's a bit younger than me and needs a liitle correction from time to time. :)
Anyway, thanks for listening and we really appreciate the kind comments.
Cheers, Mikey
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Hi Guys,
Been reading down through the comments, Thanks again for taking time to comment.
This is what happens when you buy a new guitar, instantly something pops up.....then a few moments later, you have a track on your hands.
As mikey said, hes a bit older than me so dragging me down the blues path.....with me trailing my Oasis roots behind and sneaking them in when possible.
Cheers
Andy
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The song has lots of energy.
I like the guitars and the piano break in the middle....it could be longer?
Hints of Roses and Oasis.
Like this
Sandeep
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The song has lots of energy.
I like the guitars and the piano break in the middle....it could be longer?
Hints of Roses and Oasis.
Like this
Sandeep
Thanks Sandeep, thanks for listening and glad you like it.
Cheers, Mikey
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Really enjoyable listen with a super vibe. Definitely a lot of Ian Brown in the vocal delivery.
Certainly could drop nicely on to any of the Stones Roses' later records.
I could have done with a little less fuzz and a little more twang on the guitars, to really hear the lick clearer.
The whole things works really well though and you've really delivered on the sound you were going for.
Great!
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Thanks mate,
We can't win with you guys :), some say its not dirty enough, others say its too dirty, but I love the controversy that our tracks seem to generate, I take it as a massive compliment that everyone takes the time to listen and give their opinion. Anyway, glad you enjoyed it.
Cheers, Mikey
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Hi
Great track.
The rhythm guitar had me thinking of Flick of The Switch era AC/DC, then you add some cool country/slide type guitar and funky piano, which made me think of the late 80s Quireboys/Dog's D'amour, etc. Works really well.
The indie style vocals give it a modern edge.
Top notch production.
Quality.
Digger
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Thanks digger, glad you enjoyed it
Cheers, Mikey
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Yessss... there’s a track with bad-ass attitude.
Just goes to show the importance of a simple but killer riff (I could never get tired of that three-semitone twang... reminds me a bit of Personal Jesus).
Dig the way you sing it too... a little laid back and indifferent (as others have said, very Ian Brown because of that).
Some more like this please.
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Hi Paulyx
really chuffed you like the track, see the personal jesus ref, thats a killer track too. (all the versions)
The inspiration for this was from a roots blues track I heard on Spotify. Also bought a gretch guitar and started twanging.
Its that Gretsch sound....inspiring.
Anyway. thanks for listening.
Cheers
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Hi
Rather like this track, its got a muscly bluesy/Oasis swagger to it.
Drum and bass hold it all together for the guitars and vocals, and loved the slide and piano.
My only observation was the couplet around 'liking my woman cheap - company I keep' seemed from another era?
Going to have another listen
:)
Neil
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Cool Song!
Love the piano, Could that come in sooner on the choruses perhaps? To my ears, I feel like the choruses could do with a little lift? maybe through instrumentation? Good work, I enjoyed listening to that.
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Also, Hey from a fellow Devonian! I'm up in North Devon though.
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Hi Gina.
Welcome to the forum form sunny south Devon,
Thanks for the listen and we appreciate your comments.
Pleased you like the piano and we were conscious to bring that in on the second verse as we didn't want to be firing on all cylinders from the start and have no where to take the song.
It based around 12bar blues so no real chorus as such,
Thanks again for the listen and welcome.
Cheers
Andy
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really enjoyed this - could hear an Oasis influence -not a bad song at all.