[Jenna]

So this is a chorus idea I had based on bin's track:

https://soundcloud.com/paulcanuck/fools-paridise-chorus-wannabee/s-QbtZl

I must confess, the verse lyrics at their current stage are a little under-whelming to me - sorry.

They don't have good prosody and they seem written to be clever rather than tell a story of why this guy ended up at the FP club.

Anyway - is this the type of chorus that will work - or am I sucking lemons?
Or have I just pissed all the lyricists off and I should bugger off?

Paul

I like it, Paulski. Sounds great. The intent of the lyrics was to tell a story using the names of alcoholic beverages. That's all. I put a lot of time into it, but if it's not going to work it's not going to work. What sort of story would you all like to tell about how this man ended up at a bar named Fool's Paradise? The origin of this whole project was in the first verse:

I'm picking up a new old habit and chilling it on ice.
Spinning vinyl memories in this Fool's Paradise.

Does the chorus as written not have good prosody? "Rumor has it you've moved on and left our love behind, but I'm out dancing every night with every woman I can find."

I am still attached to that verse and the chorus (rumor has it you've moved on and left our love behind, but I'm still dancing every night with every woman I can find), but the rest isn't necessary if you all would like to change it. I'm good with that. Just let me know what story line you'd like to follow and we'll get to work on the lyrics. Sound good? Now I'll just add a couple of obvious thoughts on developing the storyline for possibilities:

We're starting out with a verse leading to a breakup, which was supposed to be the sad, slow beginning, but that's been tossed.

We're up-tempo for a dance number, so this is going to be a positive spin on a breakup song.

My upcoming 3-week commitment fell through, so now I'm free again for the next 3 weeks to toy with this song, or any other.

If you want female vocals I can give it a shot. I have a good range and usually can hit the right notes. Harmonies don't come as easily as they used to, but I need to work on those and it would be good practice.

Let me see what I can come up with for a positive breakup storyline. What would you all think of the subject going into fun times naming different women?

Okay now we got the flow on this one, to get you in there Jenna i think we're going need a cool bass line, just to get you walking in then you hit us with something like or whatever.

I don't need you any more
To have a good time
I'm still dancing every night
with every man i can find

Then we put everything we have and more to come together and just let rock 

Oops. I forgot we reworded that chorus. Thanks for the reminder. So Mr. Country Dude sings the intro verse and Mrs. Country Gal sings the chorus? Or does she enhance it with a 3rd above? Not sure of your meaning up there.

[Oldbutyet]

So this is a chorus idea I had based on bin's track:

https://soundcloud.com/paulcanuck/fools-paridise-chorus-wannabee/s-QbtZl

I must confess, the verse lyrics at their current stage are a little under-whelming to me - sorry.

They don't have good prosody and they seem written to be clever rather than tell a story of why this guy ended up at the FP club.

Anyway - is this the type of chorus that will work - or am I sucking lemons?
Or have I just pissed all the lyricists off and I should bugger off?

Paul

I like it, Paulski. Sounds great. The intent of the lyrics was to tell a story using the names of alcoholic beverages. That's all. I put a lot of time into it, but if it's not going to work it's not going to work. What sort of story would you all like to tell about how this man ended up at a bar named Fool's Paradise? The origin of this whole project was in the first verse:

I'm picking up a new old habit and chilling it on ice.
Spinning vinyl memories in this Fool's Paradise.

Does the chorus as written not have good prosody? "Rumor has it you've moved on and left our love behind, but I'm out dancing every night with every woman I can find."

I am still attached to that verse and the chorus (rumor has it you've moved on and left our love behind, but I'm still dancing every night with every woman I can find), but the rest isn't necessary if you all would like to change it. I'm good with that. Just let me know what story line you'd like to follow and we'll get to work on the lyrics. Sound good? Now I'll just add a couple of obvious thoughts on developing the storyline for possibilities:

We're starting out with a verse leading to a breakup, which was supposed to be the sad, slow beginning, but that's been tossed.

We're up-tempo for a dance number, so this is going to be a positive spin on a breakup song.

My upcoming 3-week commitment fell through, so now I'm free again for the next 3 weeks to toy with this song, or any other.

If you want female vocals I can give it a shot. I have a good range and usually can hit the right notes. Harmonies don't come as easily as they used to, but I need to work on those and it would be good practice.

Let me see what I can come up with for a positive breakup storyline. What would you all think of the subject going into fun times naming different women?

Okay now we got the flow on this one, to get you in there Jenna i think we're going need a cool bass line, just to get you walking in then you hit us with something like or whatever.

I don't need you any more
To have a good time
I'm still dancing every night
with every man i can find

Then we put everything we have and more to come together and just let rock 

Oops. I forgot we reworded that chorus. Thanks for the reminder. So Mr. Country Dude sings the intro verse and Mrs. Country Gal sings the chorus? Or does she enhance it with a 3rd above? Not sure of your meaning up there.

All we're doing is trying different ways but i have to say, Mr Country Dude & Mrs Country Gal is miles of the thoughts im having, its just a bit of fun trying to put a song together and verses are going to have to be edited to fit the track, record what way you think the whole lot or parts, sorry but the part i included above is no Mrs Country Gal, she's a rocker, okay she's a Country rocker 

Just my thoughts on this, dont come at me with that chainsaw okay   

[Jenna]

All we're doing is trying different ways but i have to say, Mr Country Dude & Mrs Country Gal is miles of the thoughts im having, its just a bit of fun trying to put a song together and verses are going to have to be edited to fit the track, record what way you think the whole lot or parts, sorry but the part i included above is no Mrs Country Gal, she's a rocker, okay she's a Country rocker 

Just my thoughts on this, dont come at me with that chainsaw okay   

No worries. It looks like I'm being asked to take a chainsaw to the lyrics. It's rather occupied at the moment.

[Skub]

Jenna,with collabs there is a certain amount of letting go of preconceived ideas that goes with the territory. Personally I love that unexpected evolution which occurs when others join in. It's a roller coaster ride,especially when there are as many taking part as in this example. I understand it can be hard to give up a line/lick/lead break/melody,but sometimes magic happens when you do.

If there is an original idea or direction you had for the song and this version diverges from that format,don't worry,just keep that to yourself and make another version. No one here will be staking claims.  

Go with the flow and see what happens,if you don't like it much,there is always plan B.

[Oldbutyet]

All we're doing is trying different ways but i have to say, Mr Country Dude & Mrs Country Gal is miles of the thoughts im having, its just a bit of fun trying to put a song together and verses are going to have to be edited to fit the track, record what way you think the whole lot or parts, sorry but the part i included above is no Mrs Country Gal, she's a rocker, okay she's a Country rocker 

Just my thoughts on this, dont come at me with that chainsaw okay   

No worries. It looks like I'm being asked to take a chainsaw to the lyrics. It's rather occupied at the moment.

I ain't falling out with you thats for sure      

Okay Jenna as Paul rightly says "We may end up with three songs here" but on this one we need to edit according to the flow which i know you dont have a problem with (im thinking chainsaw again)     sorry.

I like the idea of a bar call Fool's Paradise, i think we all sat in a few of them and i have to admit great singalong at the end of those nights, so far we got about a minute and half of vocals and on the next part and again just my thoughts on this, but im thinking Paul coming in on piano Skub playing that lead guitar of his and whoever else wants to add their favourite instrument, then we'll sort what verses you have that feels right with the flow for vocals, and for crying out loud woman put that chainsaw away     

[Jenna]

No worries. I am a go-with-the-flow sort of being. I was justing putting in my two cents. Those are the parts of the lyrics I like best, but this is a group collaboration and I'm only one of those collaborators along for the ride. I'm also a fan of a bar named Fool's Paradise and would like this to be one of those popular bar tunes or closing time singalongs. Whatever it takes to get there is okay by me. Having said that, and with the limited closing times I've attended in my life, about the only sad last call tune I can remember is Desparado by the Eagles. The best thing is for people to leave on a high note, and if we can make something that makes people want to stay until closing time the bar owners will love it. Selling to the establishments that will be playing might be a good angle to take.

Has anyone noticed how incredibly popular this thread is? Over 1000 view hits? Interesting.

[Paulski]

OK so re-reading my last comment I think it was kind of rude 
I should have also said what I like about this project!

Great hook!
I like the idea of a slow start then bin's track starts up - I can take a run at that plus some tickled ivories
Bin's track is really good 
Skub and Pat both did great work on their samples!
I like the idea of using drink names in the verses - but maybe they could be like "dates" this guy goes out on? Like one night he meets "Pink Lady" etc. Maybe even he's dancing every night with every new drink he can find 

bin has shared his stem files (tracks) so we'll see where it goes from there 

[Jenna]

OK so re-reading my last comment I think it was kind of rude 
I should have also said what I like about this project!

Great hook!
I like the idea of a slow start then bin's track starts up - I can take a run at that plus some tickled ivories
Bin's track is really good 
Skub and Pat both did great work on their samples!
I like the idea of using drink names in the verses - but maybe they could be like "dates" this guy goes out on? Like one night he meets "Pink Lady" etc. Maybe even he's dancing every night with every new drink he can find 

bin has shared his stem files (tracks) so we'll see where it goes from there 

GMTA? We must be reading each others' minds on the drink name dates. If we do stick with that theme, I like going that direction as well. He could be looking through his little black book of names that sound like women but turn out to be drinks or something along those lines. But who is he breaking up with and what memories comes up in the process? Unless we nuke the opening verse or turn it into a chorus, we'll have to answer those questions as the story develops.

[Jenna]

And for a real twist, what would you think of making the speaker a woman instead of a man? It seems to be a trend lately, showing the stronger side of women and putting them in fictional roles traditionally reserved for men, especially in the US country genre.

Witness:

https://www.popsugar.com/love/Strong-Female-Country-Songs-34922044


I can't believe they left out Gretchen Wilson's "I'm Here for the Party."

Another popular trend in country in recent days is females and guns. It's kind of strange for me being raised in a different generation but it's current.

And the Dixie Chicks are on the rise again. Love them!

But having a hard-headed, hard-drinking woman with a little black book of drink dates might be something special. I've not heard any of these since Gretchen's I'm Here for the Party.

IN which case you'll need a female on vocals. My range is kind of like that of Miley Cyrus. Here's me attempting her song Wrecking Ball fx free. My voice starts giving out about 2/3 of the way through. It's a hard one to sing. Wrecking Ball. Definitely not a pro, but maybe passable in a pinch.

[Oldbutyet]

OK so re-reading my last comment I think it was kind of rude 
I should have also said what I like about this project!

Great hook!
I like the idea of a slow start then bin's track starts up - I can take a run at that plus some tickled ivories
Bin's track is really good 
Skub and Pat both did great work on their samples!
I like the idea of using drink names in the verses - but maybe they could be like "dates" this guy goes out on? Like one night he meets "Pink Lady" etc. Maybe even he's dancing every night with every new drink he can find 

bin has shared his stem files (tracks) so we'll see where it goes from there 

Read good to to me.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x31ki01

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4jw2iq

No worries. I am a go-with-the-flow sort of being. I was justing putting in my two cents. Those are the parts of the lyrics I like best, but this is a group collaboration and I'm only one of those collaborators along for the ride. I'm also a fan of a bar named Fool's Paradise and would like this to be one of those popular bar tunes or closing time singalongs. Whatever it takes to get there is okay by me. Having said that, and with the limited closing times I've attended in my life, about the only sad last call tune I can remember is Desparado by the Eagles. The best thing is for people to leave on a high note, and if we can make something that makes people want to stay until closing time the bar owners will love it. Selling to the establishments that will be playing might be a good angle to take.

Has anyone noticed how incredibly popular this thread is? Over 1000 view hits? Interesting.

 

[Jenna]

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition! 

Sin Wagon by the Dixie Chicks

Since Bin's track sounds so close to this we should probably veer off in another direction.

But, I never did mention that I am driving the bus to hell and promise a damned good time on the way. Who's with me?

[Oldbutyet]

Okay   

[CaliaMoko]

Wow! I love that! Never heard it before. And, oh, wish I could sing like that.

Been watching the party hit thread. Waiting for the end result.... 

Okay   

[Jenna]

Wow! I love that! Never heard it before. And, oh, wish I could sing like that.

Been watching the party hit thread. Waiting for the end result....  

Okay  

I like her new sound! The last Imelda May I heard was Johnny's Got a Boom Boom.

I'm watching for the end result, too, Moko. 

[Skub]

Using Paul's and my vocals and just repeating lyrics,I've attempted to give the song some shape,a template to work from. Maybe it'll help to show what amount of lyrics we need? Piano and solo stuff can be added later,but if we have a song template,then it's a datum point.

Lemme know what you think.


https://soundcloud.com/skub1955/spin-the-bottle-v1/s-Hx7BA