The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Works in Progress => Topic started by: Oldbutyet on September 05, 2017, 12:18:20 AM
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An old lyric that thanks to a old Friend i got to record the other day, work in progress, thank you all.
https://soundcloud.com/patfeely/the-padre-prays
I walk across the street
A crowd is gathering
Silently waiting
For the show to begin
I walk up the steps
Stand on a stage
A hangman noose
Is put around my neck
And the Padre pray
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah the Padre prays
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
The judge yells out
This man has been convicted
Of a crime and he shall hang
By his neck until he dead
And the Padre pray
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah the Padre prays
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
I have no enemies around here
For they all come to ease their fears
For i use to be what they're now
But here I have no fear no enemies here
No i have no fear no enemies here
A man steps out from the front line yells high
"what is this man crime"
The judge yells down
"get back in line"
The crowd steps forward and stands with the man
And the Padre pray
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah the Padre prays
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
The judge yells out pull that lever down
The trap door opens and I'm falling
To the ground
I have no enemies around here
For they all come to ease their fears
For i use to be what they're now
But here I have no fear no enemies here
No i have no fear no enemies here
© copyright house all rights reserved
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Cool song. The story is fun and your voice is perfect to tell it. One tweak I'd make is change it from falling to the ground, to just falling down. Because a hanging man probably isn't going to touch the ground. But I really liked everything about it, and could live with ground. Maybe he could, too. Haha.
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Cool song - impossible not to hear Bob Dylan influence.
If it was mine I would sing it - but I guess thats just a taste thing.
I totally get the super simple backing and delivery of the song - maybe a steel / resonator guitar sound would give the song a bit more body?
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Cool song. The story is fun and your voice is perfect to tell it. One tweak I'd make is change it from falling to the ground, to just falling down. Because a hanging man probably isn't going to touch the ground. But I really liked everything about it, and could live with ground. Maybe he could, too. Haha.
Hey Redrhodle i wrote this song many years back always thought it needs one or two more verses after the line "falling to the ground" or maybe "falling down" but at the moment it a two chord song 8)
Cool song - impossible not to hear Bob Dylan influence.
If it was mine I would sing it - but I guess thats just a taste thing.
I totally get the super simple backing and delivery of the song - maybe a steel / resonator guitar sound would give the song a bit more body?
Hey mate, Thank you 8)
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Yo Pat.
I missed this one,somehow. ???
The influences of Dylan and Lou Reed are striking in this piece. I could hear this song expanded into a western style cowboy tune,maybe one for the 'Cover' thread,but it works just fine as it is. 8)