Hello everyone and happy new year !
I would have a feedback on this rock track. I wanted to do something simple : guitar, voice, drums. I'm open to criticism, even negative obviously. Don't censor yourself, because I want to progress.
Tell me what you think, even about my accent (is it not too "rotten" ?) or my words, because English is not my native language...
https://soundcloud.com/user-24297189/flesh-and-flowersThanks in advance for your time !
IS
Lyrics:
I just want to taste this concrete
If you don’t want to taste, just go away
Tell me, are you angry or love sick ?
I can’t make this problem go away
Hey, Red, look at the fire of the sky
It shines as the smile you hide
Something goes and makes your feeling petrified
With the sweet heat of the sun you’ll get by
…
The skipper’s skull is (very) broken down
All is drifting, all is letdown
Your school’s skip rope is really fare away now
All is floating, start the countdown
All the sailors took the care of be quiet
The frozen words are lost in the waves
Devoured soon by the sun of Red’s riot
‘Cause, her hidden eyes are not slaves
I got It, I got it ! This creeping message !
I keep it, I keep it, I’m not lost in the rage
I got It, I got it ! Your crying message !
I keep it, I keep it, I’m staying on stage!
She just wants to taste this concrete
If you don’t want to taste, just go away
Tell her, are you angry or love sick ?
She can’t make this problem go away
Flesh and flowers made you f...ing die awfully
Just thinking and don’t see
Flesh and flowers dressed your stupid life wrongly
Your anger flows by the sea
I got It, I got it ! This creeping message !
I keep it, I keep it, I’m not lost in the rage …