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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pompeyjazz on November 25, 2019, 06:02:21 PM
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To be honest, I'd forgotten all about the festive competition until a few days ago. I've been working on a collaboration over the weekend (more of that later) but hadn't got a solo entry.
I've gone for a twist on Silent Night, based on what's happening now in the country where it all began, so it's not a turkey and tinsel happy number I'm afraid ;D
Gift from the West
No Wrapping paper or gift tags
Delivered at lightning speed
Take cover – grab the children
No wise men but a visit from a drone
Nothing can pierce the iron dome
Sidewinder, python, Jericho
Raining down on those below
Not such a silent night
Darkness turns to daylight
Return fire, tracer light
Not such a silent night
Here's a gift from the West
No Wrapping paper gift tags, ribbons and bows
No wise men
Get ready for your visit from a drone
Not such a silent night
Darkness turns to daylight
Return fire, tracer light
Not such a silent night
(c) Bradley - 2019
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Great vocals in this!
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Awesome sound effects in this John... you sound a bit like Depeche Mode with that wobbly, distorted bassline thing... I love it. Massive electronica production touches really make this stand out... it has shades of Bowie in his Berlin period too. Very clever and poignant take on the theme... almost an antidote to Christmas songs (which I suspect we're gonna need...). Terrific creative work.
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That cool bass-y sound reminds me of a didgeridoo! Very dark and intense. Great job!
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Hey John, yep definitely dark, mean and moody this one, not a party blower in sight ;)
But that was a smart mood to turn the jollity of Christmas on its head and make a serious contemporary comment about the state of the world against the festive backdrop. Quite a powerful statement resulted, especially through the reference to said Carol.
Massive bass sounds, scarily menacing! An overall dramatic and disturbing musical landscape very well created, a very cool story!
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Anti party song 8) somewhere in your mind is a bottomless pit of lyrics mate..this shows how DM should be doing it.. 8) 8)
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Yea thats a twist :) I like that change at 2:48 ! creative sounds and the Vox
sound real good. In the line "nothing can pierce, the iron dome" might it flow smoother there like this "nothing can, pierce the iron dome? different spot for the pause that is
subjective I'm sure. this is cool John! ........Ray
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This is great! Great take on the theme - lyrics are great and the dark gritty mood of the music fits it perfectly. Thought-provoking and the twist on Silent Night is very clever (seems to be the a theme running through the entries so far!!)..
Loved this @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) ... Nice work, sir... Love those guitars and that bass is very striking... Great emotion in the vocal too...
Big thumbs up from me..
K
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That bass sound is shockingly awesome. The silent night "samples" fit really well. For the interlude I wondered if something more organic / acoustic could work as a contrast.
Great theme - we wring one hand over the state of some parts of the world while selling tech and arms with the other hand...
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Hi PJ,
Musically I was thinking Gary Numan (early stuff) rather than Mode.
Very cool soundscape. Guitars work well.
Nice gravel in the vocal.
Nice and dark.
Some really good stuff kicking around the forum.
Digger
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Hey PJ, Excellent stuff mate. Right there with you.....Music/mood fits the lyrics
perfectly. Just waiting for the slay bells ;D ;D
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Oof...Take THAT and party :-)
Powerful stuff with menace a'plenty.
You're a very special talent, me old mucker.
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A slice of eighties new romantic pop. It's effectively uncomfortable from the very beginning with the keyboard swells and squeaky synth helping to paint a terrifying soundscape of destruction. Job done I'd say. It's great to hear you experimenting with themes and musical approaches!
Oaul
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WOW<PJ! That menacing intro had the mood set right from the get go :o Love the take off on the beautiful Silent Night carol. It's such a contrast, and in itself had me dreading the outcome :o I love the bass as well, and your vocals fit the song perfectly :) Really well produced! Great entry :o
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Hi John, great idea really well executed! Love those gut wrenching bass synths and the grungy guitars. sung with the right gravel and emotion. You have too many ideas mate. There are only so many in the universe and you've had you share ;).
Good stuff!
Cheers
Jamie